Friday, August 18, 2006

The Battle Against TMI

In Wal-Mart a woman with young children is wearing a shirt so low and wide cut that I can see almost her whole breast, a woman at H.E.B. (our local grocery store) who has such a short pair of shorts on they really should be considered underwear, a man at the mall with words on his shirt that you still cannot say on TV, an older man sitting at a bench in a furniture store (had to be in his 50's) with a drawings that were very sexually graphic. All things that to me, fall under the title of TMI!

I feel like I spend hours a day fighting this. You know the one I am talking about: the nasty wording on bumper stickers and shirts, the overly sexually explicit shirts male and female alike feel a need to wear to stores filled with children, the crude tattoos (I realize not all tattoos are crude, but the ones of sexual nature, are offensive and if you want them fine....but why do you make me deal with it?) and half dressed women at every turn! I would love to know what person thinks I really want to know this much about them as I am grocery shopping or buying a child a pair of shoes? You can't call me a prude, however anyone who knows me, knows better. I fully understand the rest of the world does not have to have the same standards and convictions as me, but do they not even respect themselves, let alone others enough to leave some things to the imagination? You can't say it's okay, we all know it isn't, such things are done to get attention, however, how desperate are you when you feel a need to display it all to complete strangers who really could care less? is it entertaining? is it sexy?

Not to most of us.......entertainment I can pick and choose simply by using a remote, or not buying a movie/ concert ticket etc, and sexy is not half dressed sashaying around in clothes that make us answer questions about anatomy to our children who at 4 they should not have to know! Sexy is an attitude that says I am of value and worth and I know it. I am more than a sexual object, I am a person, to get me and keep me will take a LOT of work on your part. My father always told me when I was younger that the sexiest thing a woman has is her brain. It can make a plain girl amazing and a beautiful one a true catch! besides which everything else hits the floor at 40 anyways 9check the laws of gravity, it really is the truth)

I realize we live in a society of free speech and expression, but that is not carte blanche to do and say anything anywhere. When the exercising of your rights infringes on everyone else's and the bounds of common decency, then you have overstepped your bounds. It seems to me, that often this over exposure is a desperate cry for a feeling of signifigance from someone, anyone; because anything is better than just being one of the masses.

The TMI issue, to me, is a troubling symptom of a much deeper ailment. I shudder at the thought of loosing all moral bounds. You say, 'we cannot legislate morality,' yet we do it every day. Our culture and civilization recognizes certain things are wrong no matter what the reason people ahve for acting as they do. A prime example is that some cultures see murder as acceptable after a person has comitted a crime against someone in your family yet, here in this nation we have determined it not something that measures up to our moral and cultural standard so we legislate that it is wrong. I realize we cannot legislate how people dress or tattoo themselves but I DID decide to put together some guidelins (tongue in cheek of course!) that could help redirect those who may be unsure on some things

1. Please invest in a full length mirror and USE it before going into public. This assures us that at least you actually know how you look and allows us freedom to not feel guilty over the impression we have been left with.

2. Ladies be assured that if you do not have to move or mauever anything but just push less than an inch of fabric aside should you have to breastfeed your shirt/ blouse may be showing a bit too much!

3. Now I know it is hard to find anything but low slung pants right now but seeing the fruit of the loom briefs and every stretch mark you have earned through life rippling around like bread dough over your pants is not something we all want to see. I promise you, should I have the desire to see that I'll just lift my shirt and look at my own. Buy a longer shirt

4. Fellas if the holes in your jeans can answer the question "boxers or briefs" then leave them in the's not a pretty thing.

5. If your bumper sticker, t-shirt or tattoo says or depicts something you would not want to repeat in front of a respectable religious leader a 90 yr old grandmother or popping out of a sweet 4 yr old's mouth then I assure you I don't want my kids to have to read it either. There is a time and place for everything and in front of an elementary school or in the shoe department at Wal-Mart is NOT it. save it for adult only places!

6. Ladies the juniors department are for just that JUNIORS even if you are older and thin, chances are those clothes were still NOT made for you. I realize that even I can fit in them, but really it borders on a fashion crime to see a 35 yr old mother of 3 wearing such things!

7. Juniors be aware that when you lay it all out for everyone to see, someone will want to do much more than just see. Be careful the impression you leave of yourself, it may well come back to haunt you. The beauty of a young body is a precious gift, you would not leave a diamond laying about just anywhere, do not leave the images of your body there either.

8. When speaking in public places, like the checkout line or the movie theater, ask yourself ; Would even the Maury Povich Show have to *beep* your words? Chances are everyone else around you doesn't want to hear them then. It is a small thing but it really matters especially to that mother standing right behind you in line.

This concludes my list, and I hope you have had a laugh at my expense or with me either way on a much more serious note, at some point people, we really do have to ask ourselves; Why do we so carelessly allow ourselves to be displayed in such an unflattering way? Why do we allow the complete disregard of decency and respect for ourselves and others? I truly believe because we no longer see ourselves and others to be as precious and wonderful to our Maker as we are. I am of the conviction that if we did, we would see it more in our society.

Blessings to all this week!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Queen of the Mush!

I've come to the conclusion I am Queen of Mush and I am running out of ways to hold my title! One of my husband's injuries from Iraq included the removal of his lower right mandible; in English they took his jaw bone out on the lower right side because it was blown to smithereens, put a bar in it's place and are now trying to rebuild the jaw so he can then have tooth implants put in and have teeth (for the one commentor who on my last post wondered what I do with my energy, his care takes up a huge amount of it.....'nuff said!).

In the mean time, eating a "normal" diet has not been an option. Loaded baked potatos, soups and casseroles that are soft are the make up of our menu. We eat more instant mashed potatos and pudding and yogurt and smoothies and slim-fast than any family I know! However, after the past 2+ years we are getting really tired of all this (not to mention it makes you gain weight LOL).

I realize, I could make my husband a separate meal but then it is the time thing; with 5 people and work and church and his work and kids activities, who wants to cook twice? Last night my youngest daughter looked at me and said , "Mom you are queen of the mushy meals!" I don't think she meant it as an official title but it sure was funny!

So if you have any VERY unique soft food recipes, this family sure would love a change. I can make a wicked tofu smoothie, a grand shepards pie, a great chicken enchilada w/ ground chicken but it is getting VERY boring. Barley soup, potatoes w/ herbs and cheese and garlic and soft pasta dishes we've done. What we need is rare and fancicul stuff! We are dying for a gastronomic delight that needs only half a mouth of teeth to be enjoyed. Anyone got some great ideas?

Blessings to All!!!!!

Friday, July 28, 2006

I am back and a little more myself now.......

I wanted to thank so many for the support, recomendations and the prayers you sent my way. I was kind of surprised everyone assumed I meant some kind of job, though. So, I guess I will elaborate a bit on what I was struggling with this past week. it was employment and the future that triggered the episode but it si not the issue at heart.

I am actually facing the fact that all I wanted as far as "normal" will never be for me. Now, I realize that sounds silly to many because, we all know there is no such thing as "normal." However, my dream of life has always been to be some sort of normal. I don't mean status quo 2 cars, perfect kids stuff (although my kids are pretty close to eprfect to me LOL I think theya re great!), I mean just being able to live, work and exist in the realm everyone else does. Since I was very young, due to life circumstances, I have lived on the fringe of what everyone else does (no one's fault, my parents did the best they could with what they had and loved us all in the best way they knew how and in doing so have given me incredible life skills that I am so happy to have) but, anyone who knew us knew we were out there. My husband and I actually do not despise the blending into the populace and just living. We both think that changing the world happens one person at a time and rarely by the thousands, so we love meeting and loving that one person and allowing them to touch our lives as well.

Recently, I decided I needed a more regular part time employment because most likely, when they retire my husband from the military he will be fully disabled and I will need to be the main breadwinner. I knew I had limitations due to my hearing and some other physical issues but truthfully, the reality of how that would impact me in this arena had never hit me. It was this that made me realize I am not going to be a part of "normal" life but instead, due to life happening as it has, I will always be on this edge LOL. I will never be able to get just any old job. I will never not have my life shaped by all these things I will never be able to do and participate as everyone else does in life. We may never find anything even remotly close to normal for a few more years just because of my husbands condition and truthfully, I am tired. We all are. Monday I was exhausted with the struggle.

Everone asks why would you settle for mediocrity? I tell them living in the vaccuum of intensity and abnormal is not always so great. It is exhausting, it takes a physical toll on the whole family as well as an extreme emotional one. Let us just say it is even close to exciting at all after a few years and you long for a place of rest where you can just experience a somewhat normal day that has not been dictated by so many extreme circumstances.

I do believe the Lord controls all things but right now, I also feel like I am not up to what He has called us to. I am already past the down point of Monday when I last posted, but I am also realizing perhaps I need to begin to reroute some things in me. Not because I am an "I can't" person but because I am realizing I may have held on to some things that were not part of God's will for my life. His plan is perfect and I know that, but sometimes letting go of self no matter how grounded you are is a rather difficult process.

Blessings to all today and I will be back again after the weekend!!!!!

Monday, July 24, 2006

Where do dreams go to die?

and just how long do we allow them to lie in state before we finally bury them? I am struggling with this right now. Some things that I have held in my heart for a long time seem to never be coming to fruition. I am not sure why and don't really care to explore it right now, truthfully, it is just a bit too painful .....But,when do we finally give them up? I am not talking unrealistic or fairytale dreams, I am talking the type that really should seem perfectly feasible, but never seem to get off the ground no matter how much you try.

There are so many different views. Some would say they were not meant to be, some may say that it is not the right time, others would say not to focus so much on what "is not" when I have so much that "is." Yet, I am finding that unlike childhood dreams, that gently fade away into reality, adult dreams shatter to pieces like brittle glass that will splinter everywhere and cut and stick you every time you try to sweep them up and move on.

I'm not sure how we let go of such things and when it stops hurting. I am not even sure if letting go is really just giving up the fight but I do know at some point there must be some sort of resolution; closure if you will.

So, where do dreams go to die? I do believe the answer is somewhere deep in your heart.

Blessings to all and never fear by my next update later in the week, I will most likely be in a completely different frame of mind.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

AHHHHH! So Sorry I've Been Away BUT......

I am hiding from the world on my own mini vacation with my husband. A rare occurance has occurred! We are childless for a week! What bliss, what joy, what QUIET!

Our adventure began last week after we had our houseguest return to her home (which was a wonderful visit). From there we took one child and left them with friends in San Antonio. By Sunday 2 others were packing to leave on a church youth group trip. Monday at 6 AM we were blissfully alone.

Our exotic destination? Our home; blinds closed, doors locked and the two of us enjoying the rare and beautiful scenery of our kitchen being clean all the time, the laundry caught up and the lights off in every room but the one we are in. There is no water on the counter, no bags and shoes in the middle of the floor and no empty milk jug shoved back in the refrigerator. The pathway to the back of the house is quiet, not a single argument, not a single whine and no doors obstructing the walkway.

I confess, as someone who married very young and has had a child ever since she was just barely 18, I do look forward to the days when my husband and I will be alone. However, I also admit that at times the house seems strangely quiet, the order seems almost eerie and the lights all being off sometimes make me feel a little lonely for my kiddos. But, not so much so that I will want them home early! A couple more days in this exotic location may be just what the doctor ordered!

I will be back to a regualr post in about 3 days but until then, Bon Voyage! The ship is out to sea and there is a lounger with my name on it calling to me.

Blessings ya'll!

Friday, July 07, 2006

It's official! We are seriously SPOILED!

My dishwasher is doing some weird leaking through the wall thing. No biggy, I call a work order in to All Star (who manages and takes care of quarters on our military post)and get a plumber out here immediately (water leaking is an emergency even to them LOL)....

The first plumber, last night, walks around with a flashlight , even though our lights were on, looking at it and saying "Gee! I don't know what it is but it sure is wet there."

Ya' don't say???

After about 20 minutes he says, "Nothing emergent there, we will just call in your dishwasher is broken and someone can come out tomorrow." I stayed up til 11:30 waiting for him to hear this??? Did I mention, that in the process he tried to pull the dishwasher out without loosening screws and so he pulled the door off and broke it? So now I have a leaking spot and a dishwasher that won't close....

Today the first man shows up, he's the REAL plumber, he says "Yup you have a leak!" Really??? I didn't guess those bath towels soaked through and the puddle around them on the floor were from a leak??? (can we HEAR my sarcastic thought process here?).

He actually loosens the screws before attempting to pull out the the ancient behemoth we call a dishwasher here, so for that he at least gets a few points. "YUP!" There it is, right there at the pump. Gonna be cheaper to put a new one in than to fix it."

Well HALLELUIA!! My dishwasher is kind of a family joke anyways. It really just sanitizes since we have to scrub them before we load them anyways, and even then we often get mysterious little hard particles all over our dishes that makes them need rewashed by hand! My children, however, are responsible for this so I do not suffer too much.

The REAL Plumber informs me the dishwasher lady, has to come by to get the dishwasher fixed, since he only handles plumbing. He says he will call her right away. Finally at 4 PM the dishwasher lady arrives. How exciting a new dishwasher.....

Okay don't get excited yet, she informs us, yes we need one but we need an APPOINTMENT to get it installed. An appointment??? She is standing RIGHT here? But, alas! We must wait. Til when? Next week she says. On Monday I get to have a phone consultation to find out WHEN the dishwasher lady is available, then we hope to have something by the middle of the week.

All three children say "WHAT??? The middle of NEXT week???? How will we do dishes???"

By hand of course...."BY HAND?!?!?!"

So I conclude with, it's official we are seriously spoiled.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Glorious Freedom!

I was thinking this weekend about freedom. What it costs to purchase it. It is the blood of those who give of themselves freely that purchase our freedom. What a concept. Someone laid down their life so I can sit among scoffers or follow wholeheartedly after those who went before me, continuing to protect the freedom I have. I can honor the blood that purchased me or I can trample it into the dirt and make it another part of the mud.

The freedom we as Americans have is much like the freedom we gain in Christ. Jesus died so ALL could be free all we have to do is choose to honor it as opposed to trampling it. Not complicated is it? However, we make it seem so hard. Just as we as Americans can choose whether we honor those who died for us or not, we can choose the same for our eternity.

See, we can disgaree with how it was done, we can argue that it was not good enough that there is MORE we can even say our freedom is a bad thing. The beauty of this nation is you can do just that and live and enjoy the benefits of the freedom or you can allow yourself to walk around in bondage and opression because, the truth is youa re free irregardless, it is just a matter of whether you choose to walk in it!.

The same can be said of our Lord and his freedom. All have the opportunity to benefit from His work on the cross, all they have to do is choose it, or they can choose to live mired down in opression and bondage. it is a glorious thing to be free! I pray all are giving thanks here today for not just our national freedom but also the freedom of our spirit from death and hell.


Friday, June 30, 2006

Teenagers get a bad rap!
I say this with force, with exclamation points and with volume! I am the mother of 2 full fledged teens and one who is 12. I hear the groans when I say I have 3 teens, I hear the people say they want to lock them up and throw away the key, I hear the people who tell me they dread these years. I feel so sorry for them. I LOVE my teenagers. They are wonderful, so idealistic and foolish yes, but also clear eyed and unsullied by life. Filled with dreams and energy and a desire to do everything that comes to them. I see their hunger for love and acceptance while they try to forge their way in the world before them. I see their tenderness and childlike qualities when they see an injured animal while they still try to "toughen up" and act like grown ups over disappointments. They bring me joy and make me feel alive. They challenge me and test me and they make my life so much richer!

Now I admit when your daughter starts to hit "that time" in her life the Pod People do show up and kidnap her, replacing her with a pod like exterior of herself that some hormonal wild child lives in; However after about 7 days your child does return! Your son may start to get pretty strange and rushing a wall to try to walk up it sideways is not unheard of (so far we at least have been lucky enough to have not dealt with stitches or broken bones in the pursuit of this hobby), this too does pass.

Last night I sat up reading for awhile and when I laid down to go to sleep all I could think was, why did everyone tell me this would be the worst years? My husband and I love to be with our children and even the "prickly" one is a delight most of the time. Do I think everyone is so blessed, no I am a realist, but I do know, if we spent as much time just enjoying and getting to know our teenagers as we do complaining about them, they may not be so bad. What we say about them and to them has a major impact on who and what they are becoming. What do you want YOUR indelible mark on their life to be???? Take some time, do something silly and teen like with them (okay here it is a shaving cream battle....You just never know when one will break out) and don't try to be like them, enjoy the differences you are not their buddy you are their guidance, their parent! These years are flying by me and I know they will leave home but o the joy of having them now!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Taking the Less Chosen Path.......

Have you ever known you were called to do something, known as you sure as you are standing there, that it is the thing God would have you do and find out many people/ friends around you, disagree, and in their disagreement, hurt you?

Recently, my husband and I agreed that an opportunity that was presented to me was definitely something only God could and would do..... So I have, with his support and encouragement, stepped out into a totally new area of my life. I have decided to return to school (online of course because, well, due to my hearing issues, classrooms are very difficult for me) I am entering GCU this fall to pursue a bachelors Degree in Applied Christian Ministries; Focus on Pastoral Ministries. My minor will be Family Dynamics. A far cry from Residential Design Degree I got a year ago.....

I have friends who find this offensive for more reasons than one. Some feel I wasted money and time going for the design degree if I am not going to pursue it to the Bachelor's level. Some feel I should not be spending more time in school, instead I should just use the education I already have others say women should not be pursuing such degrees they are for men only and others say what a waste, what can you do with such a degree in the real world?

So, to address my critics and my supporters I will tell you now why I have done such a thing. For years, over 10 now, I have had the incredible privilege and opportunity to speak to many many different Christian and non Christian audiences large and small about faith, perseverance and commitment. I have done so with a high school diploma a good vocabulary and a gift of gab that an Irish person may say is the result of kissing the Blarney Stone. I do not think it is wrong to continue with only those credentials but I feel it is time, now, to get an education that grounds me more in my faith and the validity it provides when I am speaking to others. It shows to them, that I am willing to put my time effort and labor into the faith I am proclaiming to them. I am not looking at starting my own church (trust me I have NO urge to do that). Ideally, with a degree like this I can begin training for Christian counseling, perhaps be a part of planning events for our Christian community or even step into a position in the military chaplain system that will benefit other Army families.

More so than anything else though, because God spoke it to my heart a long time ago and now, He has opened a door for it to happen. I had not forgotten the promise whispered to my heart so but I confess I had given up on it. I thought I had some how gotten it wrong, misunderstood or presumed upon the Lord. Now, I realize it was all a matter of God's perfect timing. I see that now.

So, I realize there are many who, with all good intention, will, nay say, try to convince me to rethink the direction I am going or tell me I am wasting my time and to them I say.....Please do not presume to know what the Lord is speaking to me and to my family. I would never think to tell someone who after much prayer and conference with both husband and pastor that they are all wrong. If I am, then I am sure the same Lord who whispered to my heart 13 years ago, will speak to me again. It is not the direction you think I should go but it sure is the path laid out before me.

Friday, June 23, 2006

My poor me post of the week LOL

Three times I have tried to write out a post documenting how frustrated and worn down I am, 3 times the whole stinking thing was lost in cyber I stopped and prayed for a few minutes and LOL I do feel better. My pity party has ended and I am mvoing on LOL.

I AM tired right now, frustrated with my husbands medical issues (as is he, it is a joint endeavor LOL we are a team all the way) and emotionally my husband is really dealing with things my mind cannot even imagine. BUT, I also realize how incredibly fortunate we are. He is alive, he is going to one day be finished with all this surgery (30 of them since May 2004), he WILL someday chew again (I am running out of ideas for healthy mushy food for a man with only half his teeth and jaw). My heart however, breaks for the wounds we cannot see. The dreams that have him crying out DUCK and the lives of the men who died beside him that day in May 2004.

I am not going to get all depressing here but I have a request for all of you. When you hear a story on the news, when you see a person in military uniform, when you think about Iraq please pray for these men and women. I do believe they are heroes but not because they are doing something extrordinary but because for them this is their ordinary; to go and risk life and limb to bring freedom and the hope of a life as amazing as we are fortunate enough to live in the free world, to a lot of people who cannot even fully grasp the concept. The very idea of freedom is frightening to those who have always lived in a prison; these people who have never breathed a breath without a dictator over them until we entered the picture. Irregardless of your stand on the war, the truth is we are there, and we cannot leave half finished and allow tyranny to take over and never allow these people to choose for themselves, what type of government they have. My husband developed relationships with men and children there, as did so many other soldiers. My husband's interpreter, an Iraqi national, actually saved his life that night. I believe their children deserve to live, to choose to pursue their dreams, just as I believe mine do and so I ask for you all to PRAY PRAY PRAY. For our soldiers, ours and the Iraqi leaders and the Iraqi people.


PS I will post any comments that disagree with me however if you chose to swear, insult or get plain ugly it will be deleted before I even finish reading it. As a military wife who lives on a military post I have a very different perspective of what is happening in Iraq (from the mouths of those who are there) than what those who only see the news and I will NOT allow the soldiers to be maligned on my blog find somewhere else to do it.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006


Okay nothing deep and spiritual here! I am frustrated; me, being the loving and good human that I am, I put out food and treats for the birds every day so I can sit in the morning on the patio and watch them while I drink my coffee. My husband uses them as subjects as he is learning to use his new fancy digital camera.
Now, you would think this would make my house safe from bird hoodlums? Right? WRONG!
We have lovely White Wing doves with their beautifully blue lined eyes and sweet little finches hopping around, the one we love most is all brown except for his head has a bright red "hood" on it. THEN we have the Mocking Bird. Loud, bossy and evil if you ask my opinion.
In exchange for our largesse, our incredible meals of peanut suet and sunflower seeds garnished with a bit of dried fruit and small tasty seed we get attacked. This aggressive and horrid bird now thinks if we, or our dog comes out that we need divebombed and pecked with it's very very sharp beak.
Gretchen is afraid to go to her Lavatory end of the yard for fear of the kamikaze style diving this bird practices. I am sure at some point, my neighbors, as they drive along the road behind our quarters, think I have lost my lid. I can be seen numerous time s a day standing out back in the HOT Texas sun, swinging a white and blue broom in the air hoping to bat a homerun with the birdie-ball. Another form or defense we practice is sitting with a handful of small pebbles (from our decorative border)and flinging them at it when it lands on the fence. He always gets hit with at least one so I wonder just how long before this dumb bird figures out he is NOT welcome?
I feel like someone from Caddy-Shack chasing the stupid gopher! Tonight my husband will be borrowing a BB Gun and hopefully, it will be the end of our problem. We already tried not feeding them, it is now more aggressive and the game warden here on post said, it will not go away. According to them our problem is not that we feed them but that it found a water source in our yard and now it is going to consider the are it's territory. It seems the bird (we have watched this) likes to fly down to where the air conditioner drips it's condensation in the yard and stick it's head up the pipe for fresh water. DUMB BIRD!
So I say to you, don't befriend a Mocking Bird! Now, I must go and be the body guard for my poor pecked and frightened dog.......

Blessings to you all today!

Edited to add we aren't getting a BB Gun, LOL we can't find one to borrow and I refuse to actually buy one so anyone with suggestions please do tell!

Monday, June 19, 2006

Presenting: Gretchen!!!!

Since I mentioned her in my last post, I thought I would show her off. This is my partner in crime. My ears in public!
Journey into silence.........

I guess I should explain for those of you who stop by and don't know me in real life, I am not deaf in the sense I can hear nothing, and I can speak and most people never even know I have a disability. I am deaf in the sense that I have a progressive hearing loss that has resulted in me not hearing much of anything discernible under 87 decibels. I hear noise, but it means nothing to me, it is jsut noise. I wear 2 hearing aids and have a service dog named Gretchen.
Although I grew up with an impairment it was not severe but in my late 20's it was noticable something was very worng. That was in the early spring of 2001, since then I have rapidly progressed to where I am now and gone through 3 sets of hearing aids. My next step will be a cochlear implant. One lesson I have learned in facing this challenge is that one MUST be able to laugh at yourself and your weaknesses. If you cannot, you are most likely headed for a bout of depression and self pity that will do absolutly no good in prpearing you to face your new life.
When I was young, I sang, I mean I was never any diva or anything, but I loved it and I was reasonably good at it. A few months after I got my first set of hearing aids, I decided to join the praise and worship team at our church. This is where I discovered deaf chicks should NOT sing. After 1 practice with microphones I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that as much as I loved worship, it would be cruel punishment to our congregation to stand up there and sing LOL. I can laugh at this now, but at that moment is when I was hit right in the face with the fact that this was my future. The day is coming when I will not hear music change, I will not hear laughing and giggling and whispering and the little drips and ticks that drive you all crazy.....and it scared me. I did not like it one bit and for a period I would not do anything in silence. I always had a radio TV or something on. Silence scared me, truthfully, sometimes it still does.
So, after standing up there on the platform at church and crying over what I no longer could do, I decided to find a new thing for me. The following week, armed with a library book and the lyrics to all of our songs, I signed all of our music for our congregation. For three years, I stood every Sunday and signed my worship. I learned so much during that time and have discovered that I was able to bless many people in the process and did not even know it. Although I still cannot sign conversationally I can sign enough to get by and am continuing to learn. However, the biggest thing that has come from dealing with this, is learning that when God allows something in your life that is difficult and hard, something that hurts and leaves you feeling robbed and foresaken, He has something to give you that will more than make up for what you are losing. It's called His grace......His peace......His strength.......His mercy
I accept that unless God chooses to heal me miraculously, this is a fact for the rest of my life and all the wishing in the world won't change it. So, in my loss I have found confidence that God is going to not only carry me but give me more than sufficient grace to not just cope but to overcome. I don't know what you face, I don't know your challenge but I do know the Lord has not left you to stumble through a thicket trying to find your way in the maze of your troubles. Relax, laugh, live, dance, sing (okay I do still sing to my kids all the time as a's really bad and I know it but I laugh at it too) praise the Lord for the hard things and the easy ones. The truth is, in the face of eternity this life is so short anyways!


Saturday, June 17, 2006

okay I switched to this host site so I can be linked to all of you. I am closing the easyjournal blog now.
June 16, 2006
Hmmmm 17 years and still going strong!
Today is my anniversary. I'm 34 and it's my 17th anniversary (so do the math........WOW I was young). I still can't believe I have now been married as long as I was alive when I got married. I was reflecting a bit this morning when I sat on the patio drinking coffee with my husband on how richly blessed I am. I am not rich, as a matter of fact I live in government quarters on an Army base, I have many physical challenges and so does my husband, but as I sat there this morning watching the birds at the feeder, all I could feel was this incredible peace and contentment. I am learning that the things I once set up on pedastels as the objects and symbols of my success are just that...things. What is truly worth having is rarely a tangible physical thing. Wonderful healthy children, the love and acceptance of a Godly man who has covenentad to be by my side til death do us part. The knowledge that I have food and shelter and the freedom to live as I choose. I once thought, many, many, many moons ago LOL, that success was money and things and position, now I am finding it is peace with yourself and God, contentment in your heart and a knowledge you have done the best you could with what you have been given. And now, I msut go because those wonderful healthy children I mentioned are fighting like a pack of dogs and someone MUST play referee! Blessings to all...........
June 15, 2006
Gremlins and bad attitudes!
Wouldn't it just figure, I decide it's time to blog and my computer gremlin decides to have some fun at my expense. Now, I realize that the conventional wisdom is that a computer never does anything you have not told it to do, through programming and commands etc but I really disagree. I am firmly convinced somewhere on the motherboard there is a small being who loves to run around jumping on chips and swinging from wires much like a small rotten toddler giggling and wreaking havoc all over the place in there. Truthfully, the computer was the least of our problems this week. Have you ever felt that quite literally all of Hell has broken loose against your family? This was our week. Teenagers being difficult, work being a pain in the neck, things breaking, plans going awry. So I ask myself just WHAT is a person to do? The answer? *sigh* NOTHING! Getting upset is really the only option I have. I cannot control a single thing in this life except my own response to events (DUH! you would think by now I would have learned this!) So after a few days of edgy stressful and frustrating stewing on all that is wrong I made a decision last night at church, I stood before the Lord and said "I just can't do anything can I?" and a million pounds lifted off my shoulders. No I cannot do a thing but He Jesus can do the impossible on my behalf. Some day, in some way my beady little human brain will accpet and act on the fact that God really is not up there eating Rolaids, worried about these things, and as His child, I should not be down here acting that way. So off I go to a new day, with a new attitude and the peace that passes all understanding. Blessings to you all today and I pray you too, when faced with the stupid mundane and stressful things that tie your stomach in knots, realize, God really has got a handle on it, just let Him do it.
So why am I here?
Me? A BLOG? you are joking right? Well I have entered the world of cyberspace, anything goes publishing and I am rather surprised at myself but I figured this sure is an easy way to keep everyone up to date on our family and it's going ons! I confess there is the bit of egotism in me that thinks, on occasion, I may have something witty, intelligent or slightly insightful to share with others and this really is the best venue to be heard on LOL. So why the title? Because some day that will be the title of my first book! As someone who is severely hearing impaired and owns a service dog, with 3 teens and a husband who is going through major medical issues as he recovers from his wounds I need a sense of humor to survive this crazy life I lead and I have learned some good, practical, no fluff stuff on facing the challenges of life as a Christian, someone disabled, a woman, a wife and a mother. Blessings to all