Friday, June 30, 2006

Teenagers get a bad rap!
I say this with force, with exclamation points and with volume! I am the mother of 2 full fledged teens and one who is 12. I hear the groans when I say I have 3 teens, I hear the people say they want to lock them up and throw away the key, I hear the people who tell me they dread these years. I feel so sorry for them. I LOVE my teenagers. They are wonderful, so idealistic and foolish yes, but also clear eyed and unsullied by life. Filled with dreams and energy and a desire to do everything that comes to them. I see their hunger for love and acceptance while they try to forge their way in the world before them. I see their tenderness and childlike qualities when they see an injured animal while they still try to "toughen up" and act like grown ups over disappointments. They bring me joy and make me feel alive. They challenge me and test me and they make my life so much richer!

Now I admit when your daughter starts to hit "that time" in her life the Pod People do show up and kidnap her, replacing her with a pod like exterior of herself that some hormonal wild child lives in; However after about 7 days your child does return! Your son may start to get pretty strange and rushing a wall to try to walk up it sideways is not unheard of (so far we at least have been lucky enough to have not dealt with stitches or broken bones in the pursuit of this hobby), this too does pass.

Last night I sat up reading for awhile and when I laid down to go to sleep all I could think was, why did everyone tell me this would be the worst years? My husband and I love to be with our children and even the "prickly" one is a delight most of the time. Do I think everyone is so blessed, no I am a realist, but I do know, if we spent as much time just enjoying and getting to know our teenagers as we do complaining about them, they may not be so bad. What we say about them and to them has a major impact on who and what they are becoming. What do you want YOUR indelible mark on their life to be???? Take some time, do something silly and teen like with them (okay here it is a shaving cream battle....You just never know when one will break out) and don't try to be like them, enjoy the differences you are not their buddy you are their guidance, their parent! These years are flying by me and I know they will leave home but o the joy of having them now!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Taking the Less Chosen Path.......

Have you ever known you were called to do something, known as you sure as you are standing there, that it is the thing God would have you do and find out many people/ friends around you, disagree, and in their disagreement, hurt you?

Recently, my husband and I agreed that an opportunity that was presented to me was definitely something only God could and would do..... So I have, with his support and encouragement, stepped out into a totally new area of my life. I have decided to return to school (online of course because, well, due to my hearing issues, classrooms are very difficult for me) I am entering GCU this fall to pursue a bachelors Degree in Applied Christian Ministries; Focus on Pastoral Ministries. My minor will be Family Dynamics. A far cry from Residential Design Degree I got a year ago.....

I have friends who find this offensive for more reasons than one. Some feel I wasted money and time going for the design degree if I am not going to pursue it to the Bachelor's level. Some feel I should not be spending more time in school, instead I should just use the education I already have others say women should not be pursuing such degrees they are for men only and others say what a waste, what can you do with such a degree in the real world?

So, to address my critics and my supporters I will tell you now why I have done such a thing. For years, over 10 now, I have had the incredible privilege and opportunity to speak to many many different Christian and non Christian audiences large and small about faith, perseverance and commitment. I have done so with a high school diploma a good vocabulary and a gift of gab that an Irish person may say is the result of kissing the Blarney Stone. I do not think it is wrong to continue with only those credentials but I feel it is time, now, to get an education that grounds me more in my faith and the validity it provides when I am speaking to others. It shows to them, that I am willing to put my time effort and labor into the faith I am proclaiming to them. I am not looking at starting my own church (trust me I have NO urge to do that). Ideally, with a degree like this I can begin training for Christian counseling, perhaps be a part of planning events for our Christian community or even step into a position in the military chaplain system that will benefit other Army families.

More so than anything else though, because God spoke it to my heart a long time ago and now, He has opened a door for it to happen. I had not forgotten the promise whispered to my heart so but I confess I had given up on it. I thought I had some how gotten it wrong, misunderstood or presumed upon the Lord. Now, I realize it was all a matter of God's perfect timing. I see that now.

So, I realize there are many who, with all good intention, will, nay say, try to convince me to rethink the direction I am going or tell me I am wasting my time and to them I say.....Please do not presume to know what the Lord is speaking to me and to my family. I would never think to tell someone who after much prayer and conference with both husband and pastor that they are all wrong. If I am, then I am sure the same Lord who whispered to my heart 13 years ago, will speak to me again. It is not the direction you think I should go but it sure is the path laid out before me.

Friday, June 23, 2006

My poor me post of the week LOL

Three times I have tried to write out a post documenting how frustrated and worn down I am, 3 times the whole stinking thing was lost in cyber I stopped and prayed for a few minutes and LOL I do feel better. My pity party has ended and I am mvoing on LOL.

I AM tired right now, frustrated with my husbands medical issues (as is he, it is a joint endeavor LOL we are a team all the way) and emotionally my husband is really dealing with things my mind cannot even imagine. BUT, I also realize how incredibly fortunate we are. He is alive, he is going to one day be finished with all this surgery (30 of them since May 2004), he WILL someday chew again (I am running out of ideas for healthy mushy food for a man with only half his teeth and jaw). My heart however, breaks for the wounds we cannot see. The dreams that have him crying out DUCK and the lives of the men who died beside him that day in May 2004.

I am not going to get all depressing here but I have a request for all of you. When you hear a story on the news, when you see a person in military uniform, when you think about Iraq please pray for these men and women. I do believe they are heroes but not because they are doing something extrordinary but because for them this is their ordinary; to go and risk life and limb to bring freedom and the hope of a life as amazing as we are fortunate enough to live in the free world, to a lot of people who cannot even fully grasp the concept. The very idea of freedom is frightening to those who have always lived in a prison; these people who have never breathed a breath without a dictator over them until we entered the picture. Irregardless of your stand on the war, the truth is we are there, and we cannot leave half finished and allow tyranny to take over and never allow these people to choose for themselves, what type of government they have. My husband developed relationships with men and children there, as did so many other soldiers. My husband's interpreter, an Iraqi national, actually saved his life that night. I believe their children deserve to live, to choose to pursue their dreams, just as I believe mine do and so I ask for you all to PRAY PRAY PRAY. For our soldiers, ours and the Iraqi leaders and the Iraqi people.


PS I will post any comments that disagree with me however if you chose to swear, insult or get plain ugly it will be deleted before I even finish reading it. As a military wife who lives on a military post I have a very different perspective of what is happening in Iraq (from the mouths of those who are there) than what those who only see the news and I will NOT allow the soldiers to be maligned on my blog find somewhere else to do it.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006


Okay nothing deep and spiritual here! I am frustrated; me, being the loving and good human that I am, I put out food and treats for the birds every day so I can sit in the morning on the patio and watch them while I drink my coffee. My husband uses them as subjects as he is learning to use his new fancy digital camera.
Now, you would think this would make my house safe from bird hoodlums? Right? WRONG!
We have lovely White Wing doves with their beautifully blue lined eyes and sweet little finches hopping around, the one we love most is all brown except for his head has a bright red "hood" on it. THEN we have the Mocking Bird. Loud, bossy and evil if you ask my opinion.
In exchange for our largesse, our incredible meals of peanut suet and sunflower seeds garnished with a bit of dried fruit and small tasty seed we get attacked. This aggressive and horrid bird now thinks if we, or our dog comes out that we need divebombed and pecked with it's very very sharp beak.
Gretchen is afraid to go to her Lavatory end of the yard for fear of the kamikaze style diving this bird practices. I am sure at some point, my neighbors, as they drive along the road behind our quarters, think I have lost my lid. I can be seen numerous time s a day standing out back in the HOT Texas sun, swinging a white and blue broom in the air hoping to bat a homerun with the birdie-ball. Another form or defense we practice is sitting with a handful of small pebbles (from our decorative border)and flinging them at it when it lands on the fence. He always gets hit with at least one so I wonder just how long before this dumb bird figures out he is NOT welcome?
I feel like someone from Caddy-Shack chasing the stupid gopher! Tonight my husband will be borrowing a BB Gun and hopefully, it will be the end of our problem. We already tried not feeding them, it is now more aggressive and the game warden here on post said, it will not go away. According to them our problem is not that we feed them but that it found a water source in our yard and now it is going to consider the are it's territory. It seems the bird (we have watched this) likes to fly down to where the air conditioner drips it's condensation in the yard and stick it's head up the pipe for fresh water. DUMB BIRD!
So I say to you, don't befriend a Mocking Bird! Now, I must go and be the body guard for my poor pecked and frightened dog.......

Blessings to you all today!

Edited to add we aren't getting a BB Gun, LOL we can't find one to borrow and I refuse to actually buy one so anyone with suggestions please do tell!

Monday, June 19, 2006

Presenting: Gretchen!!!!

Since I mentioned her in my last post, I thought I would show her off. This is my partner in crime. My ears in public!
Journey into silence.........

I guess I should explain for those of you who stop by and don't know me in real life, I am not deaf in the sense I can hear nothing, and I can speak and most people never even know I have a disability. I am deaf in the sense that I have a progressive hearing loss that has resulted in me not hearing much of anything discernible under 87 decibels. I hear noise, but it means nothing to me, it is jsut noise. I wear 2 hearing aids and have a service dog named Gretchen.
Although I grew up with an impairment it was not severe but in my late 20's it was noticable something was very worng. That was in the early spring of 2001, since then I have rapidly progressed to where I am now and gone through 3 sets of hearing aids. My next step will be a cochlear implant. One lesson I have learned in facing this challenge is that one MUST be able to laugh at yourself and your weaknesses. If you cannot, you are most likely headed for a bout of depression and self pity that will do absolutly no good in prpearing you to face your new life.
When I was young, I sang, I mean I was never any diva or anything, but I loved it and I was reasonably good at it. A few months after I got my first set of hearing aids, I decided to join the praise and worship team at our church. This is where I discovered deaf chicks should NOT sing. After 1 practice with microphones I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that as much as I loved worship, it would be cruel punishment to our congregation to stand up there and sing LOL. I can laugh at this now, but at that moment is when I was hit right in the face with the fact that this was my future. The day is coming when I will not hear music change, I will not hear laughing and giggling and whispering and the little drips and ticks that drive you all crazy.....and it scared me. I did not like it one bit and for a period I would not do anything in silence. I always had a radio TV or something on. Silence scared me, truthfully, sometimes it still does.
So, after standing up there on the platform at church and crying over what I no longer could do, I decided to find a new thing for me. The following week, armed with a library book and the lyrics to all of our songs, I signed all of our music for our congregation. For three years, I stood every Sunday and signed my worship. I learned so much during that time and have discovered that I was able to bless many people in the process and did not even know it. Although I still cannot sign conversationally I can sign enough to get by and am continuing to learn. However, the biggest thing that has come from dealing with this, is learning that when God allows something in your life that is difficult and hard, something that hurts and leaves you feeling robbed and foresaken, He has something to give you that will more than make up for what you are losing. It's called His grace......His peace......His strength.......His mercy
I accept that unless God chooses to heal me miraculously, this is a fact for the rest of my life and all the wishing in the world won't change it. So, in my loss I have found confidence that God is going to not only carry me but give me more than sufficient grace to not just cope but to overcome. I don't know what you face, I don't know your challenge but I do know the Lord has not left you to stumble through a thicket trying to find your way in the maze of your troubles. Relax, laugh, live, dance, sing (okay I do still sing to my kids all the time as a's really bad and I know it but I laugh at it too) praise the Lord for the hard things and the easy ones. The truth is, in the face of eternity this life is so short anyways!


Saturday, June 17, 2006

okay I switched to this host site so I can be linked to all of you. I am closing the easyjournal blog now.
June 16, 2006
Hmmmm 17 years and still going strong!
Today is my anniversary. I'm 34 and it's my 17th anniversary (so do the math........WOW I was young). I still can't believe I have now been married as long as I was alive when I got married. I was reflecting a bit this morning when I sat on the patio drinking coffee with my husband on how richly blessed I am. I am not rich, as a matter of fact I live in government quarters on an Army base, I have many physical challenges and so does my husband, but as I sat there this morning watching the birds at the feeder, all I could feel was this incredible peace and contentment. I am learning that the things I once set up on pedastels as the objects and symbols of my success are just that...things. What is truly worth having is rarely a tangible physical thing. Wonderful healthy children, the love and acceptance of a Godly man who has covenentad to be by my side til death do us part. The knowledge that I have food and shelter and the freedom to live as I choose. I once thought, many, many, many moons ago LOL, that success was money and things and position, now I am finding it is peace with yourself and God, contentment in your heart and a knowledge you have done the best you could with what you have been given. And now, I msut go because those wonderful healthy children I mentioned are fighting like a pack of dogs and someone MUST play referee! Blessings to all...........
June 15, 2006
Gremlins and bad attitudes!
Wouldn't it just figure, I decide it's time to blog and my computer gremlin decides to have some fun at my expense. Now, I realize that the conventional wisdom is that a computer never does anything you have not told it to do, through programming and commands etc but I really disagree. I am firmly convinced somewhere on the motherboard there is a small being who loves to run around jumping on chips and swinging from wires much like a small rotten toddler giggling and wreaking havoc all over the place in there. Truthfully, the computer was the least of our problems this week. Have you ever felt that quite literally all of Hell has broken loose against your family? This was our week. Teenagers being difficult, work being a pain in the neck, things breaking, plans going awry. So I ask myself just WHAT is a person to do? The answer? *sigh* NOTHING! Getting upset is really the only option I have. I cannot control a single thing in this life except my own response to events (DUH! you would think by now I would have learned this!) So after a few days of edgy stressful and frustrating stewing on all that is wrong I made a decision last night at church, I stood before the Lord and said "I just can't do anything can I?" and a million pounds lifted off my shoulders. No I cannot do a thing but He Jesus can do the impossible on my behalf. Some day, in some way my beady little human brain will accpet and act on the fact that God really is not up there eating Rolaids, worried about these things, and as His child, I should not be down here acting that way. So off I go to a new day, with a new attitude and the peace that passes all understanding. Blessings to you all today and I pray you too, when faced with the stupid mundane and stressful things that tie your stomach in knots, realize, God really has got a handle on it, just let Him do it.
So why am I here?
Me? A BLOG? you are joking right? Well I have entered the world of cyberspace, anything goes publishing and I am rather surprised at myself but I figured this sure is an easy way to keep everyone up to date on our family and it's going ons! I confess there is the bit of egotism in me that thinks, on occasion, I may have something witty, intelligent or slightly insightful to share with others and this really is the best venue to be heard on LOL. So why the title? Because some day that will be the title of my first book! As someone who is severely hearing impaired and owns a service dog, with 3 teens and a husband who is going through major medical issues as he recovers from his wounds I need a sense of humor to survive this crazy life I lead and I have learned some good, practical, no fluff stuff on facing the challenges of life as a Christian, someone disabled, a woman, a wife and a mother. Blessings to all