Deaf Chicks Shouldn't Sing and Other Sound Advice

2011-02-24T08:33:00.000-08:00

What's On My Mind....

Nothing; really NOTHING! I mean regular day to day stuff, issues with my husband’s injuries etc will always be there but as far as consuming and nagging, shouting, stressful and overwhelmingly a waste of energy, things… NOTHING! Until recently I was working; yes, I worked from home but it was a job running a nationwide endeavor or programs that were a part of one… and it kept me extremely busy. Things have changed and after nearly 5 years of working from home daily I am now unemployed.

I thought for sure I would lose my mind and need something to keep me busy. I was frantically going over scenarios in my mind to fill the void and find work. One thing I learned is that working in the nonprofit realm is not just a job it becomes an all consuming time crunching and massive monster that eats you alive at all times of the day and night. How to reach more people, help more people and complete your mission…. It never ends it even gets to you in your dreams!

Now, I am no longer daily pursuing the mission. I am not owned by the monster and honestly for the first time in ages I feel wonderful! I don’t have tension attacks and migraines at the beginning of the work week, I am not putting my family and home off to pursue the importance of the “mission” and I find I enjoy being on the computer instead of dreading my office time!

I have nothing on my mind daily; I have nothing consuming me when I try to go to sleep. I can concentrate on the here and the now without worrying about how I will get all on my schedule done “in time.”

My quote for today is Helen Keller:

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we took so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened up for us”

I have heard many people after a time, tell me that losing their job was the best thing that ever happened to them in the long run; it allowed them to take risks they otherwise would have shied from and pursued dreams they had set aside to do their work and maintain their security.

I have had the privilege of pursuing and succeeding at the one goal/ dream I had before me in my work with Operation Life Transformed that included seeing it over to new ownership and governance and now I have the chance to pursue my next one. I’m not even sure what exactly it is yet but I’m ready! I have time to think about it since really, I have nothing on my mind now.

2010-08-05T06:05:00.001-07:00

It's ALL In There.....

There is often a theory brought forward, in women’s magazines, business writings and with all those who are part of the powers that be to teach us how to be better in our lives, This theory is one of roles. We wear many different hats in life so to speak and we need to be good at wearing the right hat at the right time to be the best at the role set before us at that moment.

I have been pondering this lot lately because I really find it impossible. I am a mother, I am a wife and a daughter and a friend; I am an employee and a mentor and a student and a problem solver; at times I am a teacher and guide while others I seek advice and growth. I have not yet learned how I can take off my “mom hat” when I am working as an outreach specialist. I cannot figure out how to remove my wife hat when I am being a mentor or a student.

It is a current cultural phenomenon that we should simply be only the role we are in at the moment and no other in order to be the best at that one thing. I am finding I find that an absurd and impossible process that also requires me to remove half of my thinking and thus handicap myself in those roles.

I am a mother, as one I am good at being a referee and nurturer as well as guide. I am a professional who reaches out to those I do not know without any shyness or embarrassment. I am a student of those I respect and admire to learn how to better improve my own life and I don’t remove that hat.

I am finding for me, the best thing is to instead of trying to compartmentalize my life into these different individual roles that I am best to approach everything as a whole being. The roles I play bring a richness and capability to everything I do. To choose to only have one part of me tackle a problem because it is “work” when the teacher side of me may be what is needed seems foolish. It is by using all of our experiences to filter through and address a problem that we find the most creative and successful solutions.

My job has taught me to use non abrasive tactics in a lot of areas that being a mother would never have afforded (I mean really mom is a commander worker is a team member). Being a leader has taught me the best methods to learn when to step back and be gracious as a wife (yes unbelievable I know but good leaders know when to let others take the reins for them!).

I am entering into my own cultural revolution. One that uses all of me in every aspect to be everything I was created to be. The God of the universe did not orchestrate this life for me with all it’s wonder, sorrow excitement and abundance as well as need for me to compartmentalize but to bring it forth in all of its learning and usefulness to always be the best I can be at everything I put my hand to. I am choosing excellence in all things and this means incorporating all of my roles and events to come to the table as a whole and complete person.

This is just my random wanderings in the bunny trail that is my brain this week.

2010-03-19T06:48:00.000-07:00

What I meant to say……

I have been thinking on this subject for a couple of weeks now. How often in life do we walk away from a person and event a subject and we never really say what we meant to. Now let me clarify I am not talking about “giving a piece of your mind” to someone or insulting them. I think we have too many people walking around being rude and unloving because it is their “right” when frankly, I agree 100% with Proverbs that says a kind word turns away wrath.

What I am talking about is a friend, a colleague, an acquaintance or someone you have run into who has done something they may not even realize that has positively touched your life. A cashier who although they have had a long day still smiles and asks how you are and maybe even chats about the local weather. Take that moment to thank them, to smile, to say have a wonderful evening… The person at church who takes an extra moment to stop come over to you and say hello, a child who does a little something sweet. These things happen all the time but we tend to focus on the person who cut us off on the highway, who jumped us in line, who doesn’t do things the way we think they should…..

Over the past few months a woman has become a part of my church that literally just exudes joy. I have never met anyone so lit up from inside. I know she has struggles; we all know since she has been through cancer treatments once and is facing it again within the next month. She started coming to our church with no hair but her eyes and her face positively shine. Her smile illuminates her eyes! Just being in her presence can make you stop thinking about what you face and have a moment that shares in her delight.

I don’t know her well, only casually at this time but every time I see her she blesses me. Last week, when I saw her I felt a need to tell her how her joyfulness makes my day. I did not expect it to impact her the way it did. In the moment I spoke I realized sometimes we need to stop what we are doing long enough to let the people around us know their positive impact on our life. Too often we only seem to share the negative and miss the opportunity to speak life and love to another person who is struggling to do the best they can with what life has given them.

I don’t know why THAT day I felt the need to speak except that one thing my life as a military wife has taught me is that if there is something you should say to another in love don’t let the chance pass you by. My need to speak to her was so much so I am not even sure I thought it through; I just spoke. Honestly, we need to recognize we may not get another opportunity to speak the things we feel at that time. You may forget or lose track of someone or even God forbid, they can be gone forever.

I have lost a sister, 2 grandmothers, my father and more friends than I want to think of over the years and they are gone forever. I can honestly say I wish had spoken to each of them about all they brought that was wonderful and loving and fun and special into my life. I am trying not to allow any more people pass out of my life without letting them know what good they bring me. I am convinced it can do nothing but good and really we all need some more good!

2010-02-26T06:50:00.000-08:00

A little bit less......

It's funny I never thought I was a person of excess. I am usually quite happy with what I have and although yes, I may want other things I don't find myself consumed with thinking about it in any way.

Lately though, I have been practicing "a little bit less." It wasn't an intentional action it was one born of exhaustion and frustration. I was beginnning to feel like I cold not keep up with everything I "needed" to do and yet things kept piling up and overwhelming me. So in order to keep going I started making changes I decided what happens if I do less? What if I buy a little less (I am not a big shopper anyways LOL), I eat a little less, I "do" a little less as far as extras.........

Less of the things everyone else does and not stress over what doesn't get finished today? How many things REALLY need done NOW and cannot wait one more day? I don't mean not fulfilling needs but the things we THINK we have to get done all the time. The things we waste all our time and energy trying to finish that really, in the big picture is negligiable?

I was put on a new medicine recently and it makes me need more sleep so I am going to bed earlier. Thats a good thing since most of us run around sleep deprived but cannot figure out why we suffer migraines and other types of chronic issues. I stopped buying so much junk food etc when I grocery shopped (ok the kids are having fits over no Dr Pepper) and I lost 4 pounds. Go figure.

Now I don't advocate not parenting or keeping a sanitary home or being involved in your children's lives but I do think we way over reach ourselves in the name of "need" when what it is really, is wanting to prove we can do. We can afford to put our kids in every activity; we can afford to have clubs; we can afford to go out and meet up etc. in the expenditure of both time and money (technically) but things are getting out of whack in too many palces anymore. Nnot everything we can do; we should do. In 1 Corinthians 10:23 Paul says everything is permissable but not everything is beneficial. Parents are dictated to by Johnny's soccer and Mary's dance class and both are in extra clubs and swimming but they never sit at home together and just relax and talk and enjoy each other.

Anyway I am doing a bit less and feeling a lot better. It may be worth looking into for you as well. One thing we can never gain back is time and in all my years of roaming around as a military wife I have not met a single parent or family member who says "Gee I wish I had spent LESS time with my family." They all say the opposite. I often hear from parents of older children and my older friends how they wish they had stopped to enjoy life and relax more. There is something to be learned there for me.....

2010-02-19T06:24:00.000-08:00

Never Surrender
By: Colleen Saffron

In this nation we tend to have a concept that surrender is weak. For us, it goes directly to the very roots of what built our country! We do not give up or give in! However, this can become a stumbling block to our walk with God when we find ourselves applying the same attitude to our spiritual life.

PS 3:8 From the Lord comes deliverance May your blessing be on your people

As military wives, as women who deal with regular separations, stresses etc of this life we live; one that is in most ways subject to the Dept of Defense policies, we are “strong” women; we do NOT let anything stop us, overwhelm us or make us surrender. THIS is our life and we are able to run it, so surrender becomes a derogatory term. However, in the spiritual realm surrender is to back up and take your hands off what God already knows you cannot do.
The Lord warns us in Deuteronomy to do things His way and always realize it is because of your obedience and surrender to His will that we have any success, peace or prosperity (both financially and spiritually). This is not just a verbal confirmation that He alone is your strength but a heart, knowing as it knows, there is NO way you could have handled the situation, fixed the broken or overcome the temptation separate from Him.

Deut 8:10 When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. 11 Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. 12 Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, 13 and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, 14 then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. 15 He led you through the vast and dreadful desert, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions. He brought you water out of hard rock. 16 He gave you manna to eat in the desert, something your fathers had never known, to humble and to test you so that in the end it might go well with you. 17 You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me." 18 But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today.
19 If you ever forget the LORD your God and follow other gods and worship and bow down to them, I testify against you today that you will surely be destroyed. 20 Like the nations the LORD destroyed before you, so you will be destroyed for not obeying the LORD your God.

In order to become what God is creating us to be we must move ourselves and our human strength and pride out of the way. It is too easy to begin to make a god of our own self reliance and thus thwart the work God wants to do in us. IF we think that it is our abilities that have brought us this far then we begin t give the glory and honor not to the God who has made all things possible but to ourselves for being “strong” capable” and smart.

When we chose to surrender, to give up control and the need to handle everything we see a change in our life that allows us to sleep at night, feel a true peace and also realize with God in control we can trust we will not misstep. Ron Hutchcraft said in The Incredible Shrinking Me, “If you can surrender the control and the credit, you are ready for the incredible shrinking you. Our lives become more incredible than we could ever have imagined as our ego and our interests and our self-reliance begin to recede, and our lives become more about Jesus than ever before.”

Surrendering to God is giving “UP” in the sense that we fully acknowledge and see that all we are and all we can do is still not enough. It is only with His hand over us that we can find peace. Knowing he is enthroned in Heaven and He alone knows the beginning from the end so we can trust in His path before us.

I too have sat up all night worrying, I too can get to a point of frenzy trying to figure out how to handle a situation or a crisis but in the end, it does no good. My “fixes” are like putting duct tape on the Hoover Dam, very temporary and bound to fail sooner or later and when it does it is usually with catastrophic results. The simple knowledge of that alone can increase my anxiety! The me that is used to facing it all like the figurehead on a great old sailing ship, facing forward and stoic, wants to jump in and fix everything however the me that lives deep within my heart and mind knows it gets me nowhere.

(The Message) 1 Cor 1: 18-21The Message that points to Christ on the Cross seems like sheer silliness to those hellbent on destruction, but for those on the way of salvation it makes perfect sense. This is the way God works, and most powerfully as it turns out. It's written,

I'll turn conventional wisdom on its head,
I'll expose so-called experts as crackpots.
So where can you find someone truly wise, truly educated, truly intelligent in this day and age? Hasn't God exposed it all as pretentious nonsense? Since the world in all its fancy wisdom never had a clue when it came to knowing God, God in his wisdom took delight in using what the world considered dumb—preaching, of all things!—to bring those who trust him into the way of salvation.
22-25While Jews clamor for miraculous demonstrations and Greeks go in for philosophical wisdom, we go right on proclaiming Christ, the Crucified. Jews treat this like an anti-miracle—and Greeks pass it off as absurd. But to us who are personally called by God himself—both Jews and Greeks—Christ is God's ultimate miracle and wisdom all wrapped up in one. Human wisdom is so tinny, so impotent, next to the seeming absurdity of God. Human strength can't begin to compete with God's "weakness."

God has called me to do my part, to address situations as he has already laid out in His Word but beyond that he desires we completely 100% surrender to Him and allow him to handle things. The concept of letting go to get things fixed does not make human sense but in the spiritual realms it gets you out of the way of what God is trying to do.

2009-03-03T07:50:00.000-08:00

Life Lessons from Pizza

OK bear with me on this it has a point other than to make me look incredibly stupid….it really does!

For TX it is a bit chilly today and so I decided to make some tea. As I went into the refrigerator to get the cream for it I saw the leftovers from last night. All of the sudden I decided I was dying for a piece of the Chicago style pizza we got last night.

So without thinking I pull a piece out of the tray; please keep in mind this is no petite hors de ourves size pizza it is a piece the size of a large man’s hand. As soon as it’s in my hand I realize I’ve got a problem. I have a giant size piece of pizza in one hand and cream in another.

So, here I stand, in the midst of my spotless (for once thank you to my youngest daughter) kitchen wondering ok NOW what? I set the cream down but really I don’t even have a plate and since I am reheating it in the toaster oven I need foil not a plate.

Have you ever tried to hold onto a heavy duty 18” roll of foil and pull a small piece off while at the same time juggling this honking size piece of stuffed pizza without making a mess in the kitchen?

May I say even I can see the humor on this one. Elbows were not made for carrying large boxes of foil! Just trust me on that one. Chicago style pizza WILL drip pepperoni and sausage on to the floor much to your dogs delight and, no, most dogs will not eat the diced tomatoes that fell at the same time.

Eventually I had to lay the pizza down on my spotless gleaming counters and get the foil readjusted (I really messed it up!) and then pick up the pizza lay it on the foil clean off the counter and fix the box it goes into. THEN I could put it in the toaster oven to reheat.

Had I been thinking at all, I would have definitely just pulled out foil, gotten pizza and then stuck it in the oven. No weird dance, no pieces of pepperoni on the floor and the counter would have stayed clean (not to mention that poor foil box!).

Now, what is the point of this other than to show myself a bit strange at times? My purpose here is that I had a path and a purpose when I went to that refrigerator and I got distracted by my other appetites. Now it was not wrong to feed that appetite but had I continued what I had been doing THEN gotten my food it sure would have been a LOT easier and faster and may I say less ridiculous (I am really praying hubby has never installed a nanny cam for sheer fun!).

So has God ever given you a purpose? A Path to follow and a job he wants you to do? How often do you get distracted by other things? Other appetites? Not wrong appetites just other things that are NOT what He put before you?

As believers we often are charged to do a work for the Lord, one that will further His Kingdom in some way and we get sidetracked with a million little things that look good but the question is: are they what you were going to do in the first place?

Should you not complete the task before you THEN go to the other work? The results of the distracted work can certainly be redeemed (I mean I did get my pizza and I am no longer hungry) but sometimes it takes a massive effort to do a simple task when you are off the path God set you on.

I don’t have just one scripture to toss out at you right now but there are many that apply, I just wanted to share a “slice” of my day with you and how God can even teach me when I am trying to eat some pizza.

2008-10-25T18:26:00.000-07:00

Expelled....have you seen it???

Ok I seldom do this blog, and my guess is most have given up reading it LOL but I feel compelled to write this out. I often process information by writing.

I watched the movie Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed this evening while my husband and daughter watched a Newsboys concert and football game. I love Netflix by the way (shameless plug there LOL) I can watch the movies instantly on the internet on my laptop!

I have to tell you, I like Ben Stein, and I have always been at odds with the whole evolution theory but after viewing this I must say I am convinced Darwinism itself is a religion and that those who serve it are adamant is promoting it and that nothing will ever be permitted to speak against it in the United States if they have their way.

It would be different if the interviews were spliced, the evidence were not there already (I've heard it and read it before) but the compiling of it in one place, the proof of the unwillingness to even open a dialogue to discuss intelligent design as opposed to evolution (NOT creationism but intelligent design or even another theory) and the persecution of those who do question the status quo is down right frightening. Should a respected scientist lose their job and reputation for simply asking them to open the discussion? look at the argument? mentioning the issue?

To know this is a phenomena of the U.S. and that even those nations less free than we are can have open discussions among their scientists about this things is even more frightening. We, the freest nation on the earth, our scientific community wll shut down, destroy and persecute any who even look into the arguments as legitimate dialogue.

I am sure many people will say evolution is proven, no questions etc but having even the leading scientists explore the option that "another advanced species" (read aliens folks) is more acceptable than discussing the option of God is proof that the issue for them is not science it is that they just refuse the notion of God, of faith and of any moral being to guide, create or endow us as humans is evident. The truth is, even the msot educated scientist cannot tell you HOW life began and what led up to the initial life form that started it all. One scientist kept repeating it somehow piggy backed on crystals BUT he could not explain how that could actually happen.

Wherever you stand on the issue I highly reccomend you see the movie, hear for yourself what the scientists have to say. Do some deeper research and begin to ask yourself questions. Once you have asked yourself then begin to ask established science to explain this to you. And then ask them why they are putting up the wall and refusing to discuss it. Science is about questions...

We cannot allow such a thing to happen as we have all seen in history; yestedays exact science is often todays old wives tale! The most dangerous thing we can ever allow as humans, as christians and as citizens is to stop questioning anything. Wasn't it Hitler who said if you tell lie often enough they will believe you????

2008-07-18T17:49:00.000-07:00

I've been TAGGED by Michelle

Here are the rules:
1) Link to the person who tagged me.
2) Mention the rules.
3) Tell six quirky yet boring, unspectacular details about myself.
4) Tag 6 other blogger´s by linking to them.
5) Go to each person’s blog and leave a comment that lets them know they’ve been tagged.

So 6 uninteresting quirky facts about myself are......

1. I fell down 64 stone steps in Freedom PA when I was almost 8 yrs old. It was Valentines day that year and I was laying in the snow for 2.5 hours while EMT's tried to figure out how to get me in an ambulance.

2. I collect vintage costume jewelry and wear it. I started that when I was 14 and have worn it ever since then too. I have pieces over 100 yrs old.

3. I signed to music for years in our chapel (church for you non military ones) because as I lose my hearing I can no longer sing.

4. I have a weakness for trash TV like Dr Phil, Housewives of Orange County and New York, What Not to Wear and other useless information.

5. At 37 I am still flexible enough to put my legs (yes both of them) behind my ears LOL

6. I have met President Bush and received an award from him. I have also met the Governor of Texas, the Secretary of Defense and The Joint Cheif of Staff.

OK 6 blogs??? wow thats a LOT LOL
I think Nikki at Life of a Soldier's Wife
Chrissy has to do it
We can Try Patti at When Your Soldier Has TBI
Stephanie at In Mom's Eyes
The Prairie Lady might do this at her Prairie Home
and last but not least
Heather at Come Sit a Spell

2008-07-12T19:35:00.000-07:00

HELLLLLLLLPPPPPPP!!!!!!

ok silly as this sounds, how do I make my blog pretty?? I cannot figure out how to get pictures on it or anything LOL

Sad huh?

So who is brave enough to help me here? I have realized my blog is VERY boring to look at and that isn't good since I am in real life a pretty interesting and unique kind of lady!

Am I going to have learn something else new *sigh* all by myself????

2008-04-28T11:58:00.000-07:00

Avoiding All Appearances of Evil......

We all know this scripture. every time we do something some one disagrees with someone pulls it out. Yet, it is a reality in our walk that we are responsible for how we represent Christ to the world and to those weaker in the faith but, what WE as modern english beleivers think ti says and what was being said are two entirely different things

Recently I was involved in an online discussion as to whether something was permissable or not as a Christian. Now Paul tells us ALL things are permissable but not all things are beneficial. yet, that is another discussion in itself because it seems contradictory to the other scripture and we know God has given us clear guidelines in some areas of our life.

However, I digress, the point is this was one of the best explanations of that scripture avoiding all appearances of evil I had ever read and I am sharing it with permission from the author.

1Th 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil

How do you do this by working in a bar? (THIS IS THE SUBJECT THE DISCUSSION WAS ON...PLEASE DO NOT GET SIDETRACKED ON THIS...IT IS SIMPLY WHAT WE WERE DISCUSSING AT THE TIME)

RESPONSE: May I ask you to take a second look at the Scripture you quoted above. (Boy, I sure hope I am not being offensive. Sometimes, I am not sure if I should say anything, but I am trusting that you will understand that I do not intend to be ugly about this.) Try reading it in other versions. The KJV does not express the intent of the verse as well as some others. The original idea, when it was written in Greek, was to advise that we stay away from things that appear to us to be evil or sinful or ungodly, not that we avoid things that appear evil to others, nor that we judge others regarding what appears to us to be evil.For example, these are the days of unleavened bread. My boss took me out for lunch today for Administrative Assistants Day. I made sure that there was nothing on my plate that even looked like it could have leaven in it, and I ate foods that are biblically kosher, because I will not eat leaven this week. However, my boss sat right across from me and ate salad with croutons as well as clam chowder -- leaven and non-kosher sea food. He looked at his food and saw is as fine food; I looked at it and saw food I would not eat. Yet he, a pastor, is a believer. I did not tell him not to eat his choices, even though to put the same foos in front of me would have appeared to me to be evil. You wrote that "I do believe it is a dangerous situation, but I would never judge anyone who has sought the Lord and came to a decision. Gotcha!

2008-04-22T18:34:00.000-07:00

What is truth???

I'm no scholar but the age old question has been nagging me: what is truth? I find myself often discussing with women what is right and wrong, what is true and false so to speak.

As a Christian I find many people (and mayI empahsize women are very formidable in this) are very set in what they perceive as the right way way to live, worship read their Bible, do their devotions, teach their children etc etc etc

To each of , usthe way we do this goes beyond lifestyle, denomination or anything else it is TRUTH for us. It is absolute, no give, no change, no options, foundational truth. When somone sees things differently and say it they not only threaten "truth" but become a problem, a difficulty, a trial (in christian-ese a 'thorn in the flesh"). Why are we so threatened by different if the goal is the same. Now I am not talking all paths lead to god and look toward the light stuff....I am talking christians, working on walking out their salvation.

As my children have grown and I have dealt with each of their personalities, and have moved around and we have dealt with major changes in our lives, I have learned there is a HUGE difference between truth and preference. My preferences in how my family operates in no way defines right or wrong, truth or deviance from but simply that.... my preference.

Truth, as a believer in Christ is rather simple, it is that we have all sinned and fallen short, we all need a savior to atone for us and he was Jesus who died on the cross and rose again from the grave. That the God of creation loves all of mankind and desires to see us reconciled to Him through Christs atonement and to maintain a lifelong relationship with Him. To go into the world and make disciples and preach the good news.

HOW we do that though, aside from some pretty basic standards of morality is left up to us to walk out using Biblical guidelines that are determined as differently as can be from person to person.

So someone tell me....WHAT is truth apart from that? Am I missing something here? I see a God who met each of the people in His word differently and worked through them and in them differently and did very unique things with very unique people. So is it wrong to say then that He is still the same today?

We are ALL one body, joined together by the blood of Christ and to try to tear one another down is to in fact destroy a part of ourselves. In the end I believe such things grieve the Lord.

OK enough rambling for tonight.....

2008-04-22T01:27:00.001-07:00

What’s in a Name?

I’m going to delve a little into my past on this one, and it may be a bit long but stick with me here, I think it may be worth reading.

I often tell people either Jesus is real or I am not. See I am from a family who I suppose meant well but by most people’s standards I was a doomed child. Alcoholic parents, from alcoholic parents, my father quit school in 9th grade and never made a lot of money (even though he was a chef) and my mother left when the 4 kids were entering their teen years. Shortly after my sister died and from there it just goes on and on and on……

Sounds like a really bad Lifetime movie or something doesn’t it? Truthfully, it was worse being one of it’s stars, trust me on this. Our family was not exactly the best in the neighborhood. We moved a lot and my older brother was always in trouble. I started drinking with him by the age of 12 and the world had a lot of names for a kid like me from a family like mine who lived a life like I did. Trash? No good? Worthless?

When I ended up pregnant at 17 and married I am sure it just cemented that opinion in the eyes of the world. A statistic waiting to happen? Teen Mom? Slut? Tramp? You get the picture; harsh yes but lets be real here, there is a reason these things are said, because statistically they do happen to lump together for the most part and I was doing a bang up job of living up to the these expectations.

When my husband moved me to our first duty station in Kansas, I was completely unaware it would be to find my salvation. It was while he was away for the Gulf War I was saved watching the 700 Club in the middle of the night.

It took some time, but eventually I did develop a walk and a relationship with the Lord and it made such a difference. I began through the reading of scriptures to understand I was a NEW creation, no longer those old things.

However, it was not until the late 90’s when a song written by Dennis Jernigan touched my heart and really opened my eyes to what a name means. I went to the Night of Praise in Edmond OK with PWOC and he sang This is My Destiny (I really encourage you to find this if you can) and I actually bought the CD as soon as it was released.

In the song Dennis Jernigan sings the names the Lord speaks over us all through out His word. He calls us warrior, new creation, trophy of His grace, righteous, beloved, tells me he delights in me, and so on. I began to truly understand what was in the things we named upon our children.

Now, because of my past, I have never been harsh in how I spoke over my children or others for that matter but after listening to this song and yes, allowing it to bring healing to a wounded child who still lived in me, I began to truly understand those hard things we as parents speak to our children can bring harm to a childs spirit in so many ways.

It is so important that we not only speak the love of the Lord over our children but also, stop other people from speaking horrible things as well. Do I believe what we speak happens? To a degree yes. Because we plant a seed in a child’s mind that grows and allows them to believe that is what they are. When they hear they are no good, they believe it. When they hear they are difficult, then they act it because they believe they are.

So today I encourage you, speak truth, love and mercy over your children daily. Never allow another parent to speak things which will wound your child either. I am not saying have a brawl but stop it the conversation, walk away, do what it takes. Know their weaknesses and grow them but don’t allow their destiny to be what I thought mine was or what you may have thought yours was because of the careless and hurtful words planted by someone.

2008-03-28T22:04:00.000-07:00

House Proud???
Am I house proud??? In my case pride always comes before the fall!

I have been married for quite awhile now and have definitely learned the ins and outs of the life I lead. The one thing I have learned for sure is that just as I get a "system" in place to do housekeeping something will come along to DESTROY it. Is this only me or can I get a witness here?

I no longer have little children, my youngest will be 14 in a few weeks and any reasonable person would think now is when my housekeeping days are easy and breezy.......WRONG!

I actually found it much easier to keep up with housework when my children were little and I did not have a job as well (granted, I work from home BUT that has it's own unique challenges). I also knew then that if I did not clean it, someone would either eat it, smear it or make it worse so it had to be done and fast. Now? Well, no one is eating crumbs off the floor or sticking erasers up their nose (well at least now when they do that it is a joke and they can get them right out!).

These days I am much more relaxed and confess I only vaccuum every 2 weeks (did I just "write" that out loud for the world to see???). So you ask why am i saying all this? I will tell you something, I can remember days of being so consumed with keeping everything "clean" and getting "finished" that I didn't pay attention to what was really important. I think I missed some really amazing moments with my family I can never get back. I have no proof of this, no one has ever complained, and I was not one of those women who shooed the children out of the house so I could clean but I know I definitely at times had my priorities mixed up.

Now I am NOT advocating letting it all go, I am not a slob here and the dishes are done nightly for the most part and the house is usually "straight" (we did train our children as they grew up to pick up their messes). What I am saying that sometimes, the dishes can sit in the sink for the night and a game of tickle time can commence instead. Sitting on the couch with the family for a movie or American Idol is more important than the spotless kitchen and front room if you are the only thing missing in the room.

See the floors and counters and fixtures, those are the house. YOU, your husband your children they are what makes it home. Find your joy and comfort not in your house but in your home.

With my oldest headed off to Arizona this next fall and my other 2 growing so fast the one thing I am learning is that time is so precious and short. I am not so much house proud now as home proud.

Blessings
Colleen

2008-03-13T19:29:00.000-07:00

Dirty Wounds

Dirty wounds is a term I became familiar with when my husband returned from Iraq. For the life of me, I could not figure out why they would not stitch up his arm and other injuries he had and let them heal.

Lucky for me, my husband had fantastic doctors and they explained to me, that when someone has an injury like his, where there was so much damage and the tearing shredding etc was done by shrapnel that was forced into him form a garbage pile with dirt, cloth other body parts some from other people etc then you cannot just stitch it up.
These are what you call dirty wounds. Unlike a basic cut you cannot just stitch them up and allow them to heal, nooooooo instead you must take them into a sterile place on a regular basis (often daily) and open the wound back up and scrub it out while cutting out any rotten and destroyed flesh so that it does not contaminate and infect the healthy tissue.
The process of cleaning and allowing a dirty wound to heal is painful, long and truthfully a bit yucky. It requires a constant examining to make sure that there is absolutely no chance that something rotten is left to in any way fester inside the body and destroy the healing process down the line. The doctor told me stories of Vietnam era wounds where they were closed up and a year later an infection would erupt that would kill the soldier from what seemed to be a healed wound.
So, what on earth am I telling you this for??? Why does it matter? Well, in marriage we can very easily close up a dirty wound and then 2 months or 2 years later have an eruption that destroys what seems to be a healthy relationship.
When a spouse wounds us with words or deed (or we do it to them) we tend to want to pretend there is no contamination or no in jury so we will simply ignore what is happening. We cannot allow deep hurts to go untouched by a physician, The Great Physician. We must bring these things, these hurts to our lord daily, hourly if need be and allow him cleanse the infected area and cut away and heal the area that is hurt in order for us to truly heal in a way that will best allow us to move forward healthy and not needing to return with a worse problem later.
Now, as a woman I often want to put these things in front of my husband and examine them in depth with him and expect him to be the one to fix them. To an extent that is OK but really, my husband does not have the ability to heal me or fix me only the Lord Jesus does. My husband can be a balm on those wounds by showing me repentance and asking forgiveness but I cannot lay at his feet the responsibility of him healing me.
I just encourage you as wives, when the wounds that are part of marriage happen, and trust me they will, that you do not try closing up a dirty wound but instead take it to your Lord allow him to take you into that sterile (Holy) place and cleanse and cut away all the bitterness, hurt and infection of that wound so that when the time comes for it to be closed it is a healthy skin there and not something simply festering under the surface waiting to blow.

2008-01-20T19:26:00.000-08:00

Raising a Daniel in today's world......

Dan 1:8 "But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king’s delicacies, nor with the wine which he drank; therefore he requested of the chief of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself" NKJ

I do not proclaim to be an expert in child rearing and I am not done yet either but I am the mother of older children and I am beginning to see some of the fruits of our parenting labors here. We have a son nearly 19 now (OK yes I was way to young and NO I do NOT look old enough to have a kid that age LOL) and the thing is, he is an amazing young man. Not the "I'm his mom I think he is great" type of amazing. I mean a mature, responsible, polite, agreeable, smart, funny, capable and able to think things out, but most of all GODLY young man. He is even nice to his little sisters!

It all started back in Hinesville, GA in 1995, early in the year, when Pastor Phillip Byler at Bethesda Church preached about purposing in your heart. At that point I had read about Daniel in my read through the Bible in a year process but had never really paid attention to that phrase......purposed in his heart.

What was purposing in your heart??? The short sweet to the point answer is making the decision on how you will do something before you are faced with the situation. Daniel chose, before faced with any trying circumstance, that he would always honor the Lord in all he did. With his body and his mind. In what he ate and how he acted. He would choose before being tempted to not give in to his human nature but to do things the Lords way.

Now, this was an amazing concept to me, revolutionary! My husband and I discussed it in our next phone call because, as luck would have it, he was in Korea for a year! He asked me to send the tape of the service and I did. Our letters went back and forth.....what if we could raise our kids to be this way? What if WE could raise Daniels?

We started with us. We began making decisions ahead of time for us. We chose at this time (we were newer believers, baby christians) to get out of debt and stay out; to steer clear of questionable movies and music; we made sure we did not swear anymore; we worked hard to steer away from gossip. Basically we cleaned up our own lives and decided that when faced with situations that were questionable we would already have a "plan."

When people would ask us to participate in parties (as often is a part of military life) we would say no if we knew it was going to be an enviroment that would compromise or tempt us. When people wanted us to go out with them to eat and we didn't have enough in the budget for dinner out, we would say no....well you get the picture.

NOW, we began with our children. This was not rocket science, it was a concept we could definitly explain and teach to young children. We look at our children andsee innocence but the Word tells us they are sinful and selfish. So we stopped saying they were naughty or bad and called the bad behavior what it was...SIN. We followed the charge in Deuteronomy to discuss the law of the Lord while we were walking and while we were eating and when we sat and when we worked.

See, early on children can learn to choose ahead of time the Lords way. They can decide before they get angry not to throw a fit. They can choose before they are facing it to not lie. These are the building blocks. As they grow older we begin discussing the other things ahead of time, cheating in class, bullying, talking back, sex, smoking, drugs, drinking. We discussed it before they were faced with it so they were prepared, they had a "plan." They already knew what to do. We discussed scenarios, how other kids would act, what they might say and why.

See in order for Daniel to purpose in his heart he had to know what Gods law was and thus what would be a violation of it and why it was wrong. I think as Christian parents we are pretty good at telling our kids what the "rules" of being a christian are but we don't tell them what the violations would be and why. We are afraid we will ruin their innocence or over expose or frighten them but when done in a Godly ,age appropriate way we are helping them by giving them tools to make a decision beforehand.

Now I am not advocating showing them drug paraphenalia or something crazy, I am saying that not discussing it or presenting the information to them in the right way does not mean they won't get it. So, either you as the parent have to prepare them, disciple them, or the world will do it for you.

Daniel knew the law, it was not a set of rules for him but obviously something living enough that he desired, even without parents or priest around for him to want to keep. He could have chosen to do whatever he pleased and no one would have been wiser or blamed him in his decision. He was carted off to Babylon for heavens sake!

So, who made the Lord law that alive and good to him do you think? My guess....his parents. So don't just teach it LIVE it. We never did revert to "mom and dad" movies, to this day we don't watch things the kids can't; we still don't swear and work very hard to avoid gossip. No credit cards, just a house payment and monthly expenses. It is our job to discipline our thought life and our mouth and our witness. See, in deciding to raise our Daniels we ended up changing ourselves as well.

My son is a Daniel, he stands out among the young men around him. He chose without our urging of any type to go before his youth group and make a purity vow; he chooses to never be alone with his girlfriend they are always with others or in public. He chooses to not defile his body with illegal substances and such. He chooses to lead in his youth group. He goes to church when we don't. He keeps himself set apart for the Lord. Is he perfect? Absolutely not but he is a young man pursuing God.

I can never thank God or Pastor Phil enough for revealing that word to us and letting us see that even in this day and age, with all the trials of a military family, it is still possible to raise Godly children.

2008-01-06T19:00:00.000-08:00

Confessions of a Harried House Queen!

Laughably, I have of all things, a degree in Residential Design, and so you would think I am the ultimate in "house proud" with not a thing out of place and all of my knick knacks and decor in place without a spec of dust.

HA! I rarely dust and tell people it is o keep my antiques looking authentic; my idea of organizing the pantry is shoving everything in there and closing the door tight and folding laundry sometimes takes me weeks to get to! Every month or so I discover a whole new wardrobe!

Now, being married to a military man as I was, I knew I had a guy who thrived on structure and order and who would be happiest if that carried over into his home life. So, early in my marriage I discovered I would need some sort of simple system to keep me going since my natural proclivity was toward being a slob!

Then I must add I also had 3 kids in 4 years and lived in a mad cyclone of activity of volunteering for FRG, Church and PWOC. To add to that, like all other miltiary wives, I sent my husband off for TDY and field duty and to Korea twice for a year at a time and the first Gulf war so a system became my sanity!

For mothers with littles, it can seem impossible to get anything done while chasing tiny children through the house but I suggest you put that energy to work for you. Even the smallest hands can safely wipe down walls, cabinets and cupboards with mild safe cleaners (I have always used eco friendly cleaners and mixtures from vinegar and baking soda or bought ones).

Young children love to crawl into a tub with a sponge and baking soda to scrub it down then rinse it while being supervised by a mother who is cleaning the other fixtures. Sweeping with child size tools (found at wal-mart) is just as effective as a large broom. Chores not only teach children responsibility but also give them a sense of accomplishment and capability. Lastly it teaches a child that it takes work for a family to function and they need to participate in that.

Only work for 15 to 20 minutes in each room doing what needs done immedietly then move to another chore. Spending all day on one room should only happen on occasion. In order to keep things orderly allot enough time to do all basics during the morning and one large chore per week day.

A typical weekly schedule may look like this
8-8:30 Breakfast and dressed
8:30-8:50 straighten kitchen and dishes
8:50-9:10 wipe down bathroom
9:10-9:30 straighten main living area
9:30 - 9:50 run vaccum in main living area
9:50 - 10:10 break (take a few moments to sit)
10:10-10:30 get load of laundry in
10:30 to 10:50 straighten childrens room
(Mondays)
1:00 to 1:30 strip sheets and wash
2:00 to 2:30 remake beds
Tuesday
1:00 to 1:30 Mop Kitchen floors
1:30 to 2:00 scrub toilets and bath floor

Continue this schedule allowing for one large chore per weekday and always do at least one load of laundry per day! I usually did 2.

The point is we don't need House Beautiful but order tends to make our spouses and our children feel more comfortable. Not to mention makes it easier to find things. Striving for a perfect home every day will wear you down but maintaining a neat orderly home can be done with a simple schedule and realistic expectations .

Other tips to save time and maintain order:

a weekly menu and shopping according to it will save about 30% on your shopping trips as well as time. Pos tit on the fridge so everyone knows what's for dinner!

Hanging clothes in teh closet aor folding them in drawers in outfits instead of pants, shirts etc saves time. A full outfit can be grabbed by a child without having to pull Mom out of the other room.

Buying snacks in bulk then packaging in baggies for quick snacks for small ahnds is always worth the effort. Celery, carrots and other veggies can last days in a baggie after being cut. Apples sprinkled with fruit fresh also last a few days. This prep can also be done during breakfast time ro worked into the daily schedule.

Too often as busy moms we forget to enjoy the most important thing in our day....our children! With my son now over 18 and my two girls in their teenage years I have realized how quickly that time goes by.
Try to find ways to spend every precious moment you can with them. You will never meet a mom who says I wish I would have worked more or cleaned more. They always tell you I wish I would have spent more time with my children!

2007-02-15T20:28:00.000-08:00

A touch of humor for your long winter days.......

I really can't believe I am sharing this with the world, but as my co-worker and co-conspirator KY tells me, it's just too funny to not share.....

Now as most of you know, or for those who don't, I wear two behind the ear hearing aids. These things are, I know, miraculous devices BUT sometimes they drive me nuts. They buzz and make my ears itch and rub behind them raw well and all kinds of "fun" stuff. Yesterday, during work (I work in a virtual office setting from my home) I was on the phone and took the one out of my ear that was not connected to the phone. As I was getting ready to hang up, I looked down on my desk and saw a long hair on it. Being the awesome housekeeper that I am (NOT) I picked it up and tossed it to the floor.

Seems boring and normal enough but, have you ever done something and the full realization doesn't hit you until it is too late to stop the action? Connected to that piece of long hair, was one little tan behind the ear hearing aid that really, makes me able to communicate with the world. As the hair was leaving my hand, it registered that it was connected there but, it was too late and a piece of hair tossed with the added weight of the hearing aid, well let us just say, it goes flying. Somewhere one of the great scientists, I am sure, perhaps even Newton himself, made a law stating that a tossing of something utterly stupid is guaranteed to set in motion a ridiculous event.

Did I mention in my previous post that gushed about my house that we have that new shag carpeting? I really love it, so pretty and the texture is great; I love the longer pile of it and how it feels under your bare feet. Did I also mention it happens to be tan? Not just any old tan but almost the exact color of my hearing aids? I looked in the direction I thought I tossed that hair and all I see is that ocean of tan shag in front of me.

It doesn't take a genius to deduce that I am now in quite a fix. I really am non functioning without my hearing aids and wearing only one makes me dizzy and nauseous (don't ask me why the audiologist says it is pretty common to have that happen if you are used to two of them). So I need to have the one I just threw into the sea of tan shag carpeting and boxes and stuff surrounding me (I am not quite unpacked yet either but that is another post all together). What to do? I looked all around and it's no where to be seen. I searched under the desk, around the boxes, beside the file cabinet and still I cannot find it.

Now what? How do I find it? My mind was starting to race; what if I step on it? What if it is lost for good? Or broken ? At this point a brilliant idea hits me, whenever you have both hearing aids on, and they get close to each other they squeal. I know when I pulled my hearing aid out, I had not turned it off so I decided to take the other one out. I started to make sweeping motions with my arm in an arc over the carpet very slowly while crawling around on all fours to see if I could find it.

Did I mention I can't hear so good, hence the NEED for these hot little numbers? I am still not sure what on earth made me think I could hear it squeal. With my hearing aids out I hear very very little. When our house alarm goes off I can't hear that; I can't hear the phone ring beside my bed or the toilet flush in the bathroom connected to my bedroom; but I think I will hear the high pitched squeal of the two hearing aids getting close to each other?????

Now, I also happen to be in possession of another very rare and unique assistive device: a dog. Not just any old dog but Gretchen the Hearing Dog! Well, despite what people think, she is not always a brilliant set of ears, as a matter of a fact at that moment she thought I was on the floor to play with her and so she kept coming over to lick my face. As much as I love this dog, at that moment I really wanted her to do a Lassie for me where her ears prick up and she prances right over to my lost hearing aid. AIN'T happening!

After a couple of minutes of crawling around with my dog constantly coming over to lick me and my arm getting tired I put my head down in sheer frustration on the carpet. With my hiney in the air, on all fours and frustrated to no end, what does my eye see as I lay my head down on that carpet to cry? Yes my hearing aid right beside the leg of my chair and the paper shredder. *sigh* why not?

2007-01-06T07:57:00.000-08:00

Okay so I am soooooo far behind it is ridiculoous! I entered the working world and now I never catch up on anything. However I have to say I LOVE my job!!!!

Since my last entry, we have bought a house and moved, gone to Disney World and I have gotten a job. Not to mention the day to day hum that keeps life flowing. However, I do miss this blog so I am going to try to return to it at least once every 2 weeks. HA! TJ remind me when you email that I missed my deadlines!

After nearly 18 years of living in governemnt quarters and hopping around with the US Army, my family and I have decided to buy a house and live like normal people. We have lived here for about 1.5 months and I walk through my house everyday thinking how much I love it. I love the way my windows catch the morning light, I love the way the cut glass door makes little prismic rainbows all over the hallways, I love watching the decor come to life as I decide what it is we want in each area of the house. So I ask myself WHY DID WE WAIT SO LONG? O! I remember why.... MONEY!

All joking and mushy stuff aside though, we are really loving this. For the first time in years we have a home big enough to walk through without bumping into someone else, we have rooms large enough to accomodate all our furniture and we have the right to paint it any color we want and not worry about how we will hide it from housing LOL! Nothing is broken nothing is old nothing is ugly (since we had it built so it is brand stinking new). I do not have light fixtures that look like flying saucers or flooring uglier than the local public schools. My kitchen is huge and my dishwasher is the bomb. Okay electric and water bills are new to me, but in the end we think it's worth it!

So the next few entries may well have to do with me gushing over my house, but allow me this as it is so new to me and I feel so incredibly blessed by it.

2006-08-18T12:38:00.000-07:00

The Battle Against TMI

In Wal-Mart a woman with young children is wearing a shirt so low and wide cut that I can see almost her whole breast, a woman at H.E.B. (our local grocery store) who has such a short pair of shorts on they really should be considered underwear, a man at the mall with words on his shirt that you still cannot say on TV, an older man sitting at a bench in a furniture store (had to be in his 50's) with a drawings that were very sexually graphic. All things that to me, fall under the title of TMI!

I feel like I spend hours a day fighting this. You know the one I am talking about: the nasty wording on bumper stickers and shirts, the overly sexually explicit shirts male and female alike feel a need to wear to stores filled with children, the crude tattoos (I realize not all tattoos are crude, but the ones of sexual nature, are offensive and if you want them fine....but why do you make me deal with it?) and half dressed women at every turn! I would love to know what person thinks I really want to know this much about them as I am grocery shopping or buying a child a pair of shoes? You can't call me a prude, however anyone who knows me, knows better. I fully understand the rest of the world does not have to have the same standards and convictions as me, but do they not even respect themselves, let alone others enough to leave some things to the imagination? You can't say it's okay, we all know it isn't, such things are done to get attention, however, how desperate are you when you feel a need to display it all to complete strangers who really could care less? is it entertaining? is it sexy?

Not to most of us.......entertainment I can pick and choose simply by using a remote, or not buying a movie/ concert ticket etc, and sexy is not half dressed sashaying around in clothes that make us answer questions about anatomy to our children who at 4 they should not have to know! Sexy is an attitude that says I am of value and worth and I know it. I am more than a sexual object, I am a person, to get me and keep me will take a LOT of work on your part. My father always told me when I was younger that the sexiest thing a woman has is her brain. It can make a plain girl amazing and a beautiful one a true catch! besides which everything else hits the floor at 40 anyways 9check the laws of gravity, it really is the truth)

I realize we live in a society of free speech and expression, but that is not carte blanche to do and say anything anywhere. When the exercising of your rights infringes on everyone else's and the bounds of common decency, then you have overstepped your bounds. It seems to me, that often this over exposure is a desperate cry for a feeling of signifigance from someone, anyone; because anything is better than just being one of the masses.

The TMI issue, to me, is a troubling symptom of a much deeper ailment. I shudder at the thought of loosing all moral bounds. You say, 'we cannot legislate morality,' yet we do it every day. Our culture and civilization recognizes certain things are wrong no matter what the reason people ahve for acting as they do. A prime example is that some cultures see murder as acceptable after a person has comitted a crime against someone in your family yet, here in this nation we have determined it not something that measures up to our moral and cultural standard so we legislate that it is wrong. I realize we cannot legislate how people dress or tattoo themselves but I DID decide to put together some guidelins (tongue in cheek of course!) that could help redirect those who may be unsure on some things

1. Please invest in a full length mirror and USE it before going into public. This assures us that at least you actually know how you look and allows us freedom to not feel guilty over the impression we have been left with.

2. Ladies be assured that if you do not have to move or mauever anything but just push less than an inch of fabric aside should you have to breastfeed your shirt/ blouse may be showing a bit too much!

3. Now I know it is hard to find anything but low slung pants right now but seeing the fruit of the loom briefs and every stretch mark you have earned through life rippling around like bread dough over your pants is not something we all want to see. I promise you, should I have the desire to see that I'll just lift my shirt and look at my own. Buy a longer shirt

4. Fellas if the holes in your jeans can answer the question "boxers or briefs" then leave them in the workshop.....it's not a pretty thing.

5. If your bumper sticker, t-shirt or tattoo says or depicts something you would not want to repeat in front of a respectable religious leader a 90 yr old grandmother or popping out of a sweet 4 yr old's mouth then I assure you I don't want my kids to have to read it either. There is a time and place for everything and in front of an elementary school or in the shoe department at Wal-Mart is NOT it. save it for adult only places!

6. Ladies the juniors department are for just that JUNIORS even if you are older and thin, chances are those clothes were still NOT made for you. I realize that even I can fit in them, but really it borders on a fashion crime to see a 35 yr old mother of 3 wearing such things!

7. Juniors be aware that when you lay it all out for everyone to see, someone will want to do much more than just see. Be careful the impression you leave of yourself, it may well come back to haunt you. The beauty of a young body is a precious gift, you would not leave a diamond laying about just anywhere, do not leave the images of your body there either.

8. When speaking in public places, like the checkout line or the movie theater, ask yourself ; Would even the Maury Povich Show have to *beep* your words? Chances are everyone else around you doesn't want to hear them then. It is a small thing but it really matters especially to that mother standing right behind you in line.

This concludes my list, and I hope you have had a laugh at my expense or with me either way on a much more serious note, at some point people, we really do have to ask ourselves; Why do we so carelessly allow ourselves to be displayed in such an unflattering way? Why do we allow the complete disregard of decency and respect for ourselves and others? I truly believe because we no longer see ourselves and others to be as precious and wonderful to our Maker as we are. I am of the conviction that if we did, we would see it more in our society.

Blessings to all this week!

2006-08-08T07:42:00.000-07:00

Queen of the Mush!

I've come to the conclusion I am Queen of Mush and I am running out of ways to hold my title! One of my husband's injuries from Iraq included the removal of his lower right mandible; in English they took his jaw bone out on the lower right side because it was blown to smithereens, put a bar in it's place and are now trying to rebuild the jaw so he can then have tooth implants put in and have teeth (for the one commentor who on my last post wondered what I do with my energy, his care takes up a huge amount of it.....'nuff said!).

In the mean time, eating a "normal" diet has not been an option. Loaded baked potatos, soups and casseroles that are soft are the make up of our menu. We eat more instant mashed potatos and pudding and yogurt and smoothies and slim-fast than any family I know! However, after the past 2+ years we are getting really tired of all this (not to mention it makes you gain weight LOL).

I realize, I could make my husband a separate meal but then it is the time thing; with 5 people and work and church and his work and kids activities, who wants to cook twice? Last night my youngest daughter looked at me and said , "Mom you are queen of the mushy meals!" I don't think she meant it as an official title but it sure was funny!

So if you have any VERY unique soft food recipes, this family sure would love a change. I can make a wicked tofu smoothie, a grand shepards pie, a great chicken enchilada w/ ground chicken but it is getting VERY boring. Barley soup, potatoes w/ herbs and cheese and garlic and soft pasta dishes we've done. What we need is rare and fancicul stuff! We are dying for a gastronomic delight that needs only half a mouth of teeth to be enjoyed. Anyone got some great ideas?

Blessings to All!!!!!

2006-07-28T07:26:00.000-07:00

I am back and a little more myself now.......

I wanted to thank so many for the support, recomendations and the prayers you sent my way. I was kind of surprised everyone assumed I meant some kind of job, though. So, I guess I will elaborate a bit on what I was struggling with this past week. it was employment and the future that triggered the episode but it si not the issue at heart.

I am actually facing the fact that all I wanted as far as "normal" will never be for me. Now, I realize that sounds silly to many because, we all know there is no such thing as "normal." However, my dream of life has always been to be some sort of normal. I don't mean status quo 2 cars, perfect kids stuff (although my kids are pretty close to eprfect to me LOL I think theya re great!), I mean just being able to live, work and exist in the realm everyone else does. Since I was very young, due to life circumstances, I have lived on the fringe of what everyone else does (no one's fault, my parents did the best they could with what they had and loved us all in the best way they knew how and in doing so have given me incredible life skills that I am so happy to have) but, anyone who knew us knew we were out there. My husband and I actually do not despise the blending into the populace and just living. We both think that changing the world happens one person at a time and rarely by the thousands, so we love meeting and loving that one person and allowing them to touch our lives as well.

Recently, I decided I needed a more regular part time employment because most likely, when they retire my husband from the military he will be fully disabled and I will need to be the main breadwinner. I knew I had limitations due to my hearing and some other physical issues but truthfully, the reality of how that would impact me in this arena had never hit me. It was this that made me realize I am not going to be a part of "normal" life but instead, due to life happening as it has, I will always be on this edge LOL. I will never be able to get just any old job. I will never not have my life shaped by all these things I will never be able to do and participate as everyone else does in life. We may never find anything even remotly close to normal for a few more years just because of my husbands condition and truthfully, I am tired. We all are. Monday I was exhausted with the struggle.

Everone asks why would you settle for mediocrity? I tell them living in the vaccuum of intensity and abnormal is not always so great. It is exhausting, it takes a physical toll on the whole family as well as an extreme emotional one. Let us just say it is even close to exciting at all after a few years and you long for a place of rest where you can just experience a somewhat normal day that has not been dictated by so many extreme circumstances.

I do believe the Lord controls all things but right now, I also feel like I am not up to what He has called us to. I am already past the down point of Monday when I last posted, but I am also realizing perhaps I need to begin to reroute some things in me. Not because I am an "I can't" person but because I am realizing I may have held on to some things that were not part of God's will for my life. His plan is perfect and I know that, but sometimes letting go of self no matter how grounded you are is a rather difficult process.

Blessings to all today and I will be back again after the weekend!!!!!

2006-07-24T17:44:00.000-07:00

Where do dreams go to die?

and just how long do we allow them to lie in state before we finally bury them? I am struggling with this right now. Some things that I have held in my heart for a long time seem to never be coming to fruition. I am not sure why and don't really care to explore it right now, truthfully, it is just a bit too painful .....But,when do we finally give them up? I am not talking unrealistic or fairytale dreams, I am talking the type that really should seem perfectly feasible, but never seem to get off the ground no matter how much you try.

There are so many different views. Some would say they were not meant to be, some may say that it is not the right time, others would say not to focus so much on what "is not" when I have so much that "is." Yet, I am finding that unlike childhood dreams, that gently fade away into reality, adult dreams shatter to pieces like brittle glass that will splinter everywhere and cut and stick you every time you try to sweep them up and move on.

I'm not sure how we let go of such things and when it stops hurting. I am not even sure if letting go is really just giving up the fight but I do know at some point there must be some sort of resolution; closure if you will.

So, where do dreams go to die? I do believe the answer is somewhere deep in your heart.

Blessings to all and never fear by my next update later in the week, I will most likely be in a completely different frame of mind.

2006-07-18T08:13:00.000-07:00

AHHHHH! So Sorry I've Been Away BUT......

I am hiding from the world on my own mini vacation with my husband. A rare occurance has occurred! We are childless for a week! What bliss, what joy, what QUIET!

Our adventure began last week after we had our houseguest return to her home (which was a wonderful visit). From there we took one child and left them with friends in San Antonio. By Sunday 2 others were packing to leave on a church youth group trip. Monday at 6 AM we were blissfully alone.

Our exotic destination? Our home; blinds closed, doors locked and the two of us enjoying the rare and beautiful scenery of our kitchen being clean all the time, the laundry caught up and the lights off in every room but the one we are in. There is no water on the counter, no bags and shoes in the middle of the floor and no empty milk jug shoved back in the refrigerator. The pathway to the back of the house is quiet, not a single argument, not a single whine and no doors obstructing the walkway.

I confess, as someone who married very young and has had a child ever since she was just barely 18, I do look forward to the days when my husband and I will be alone. However, I also admit that at times the house seems strangely quiet, the order seems almost eerie and the lights all being off sometimes make me feel a little lonely for my kiddos. But, not so much so that I will want them home early! A couple more days in this exotic location may be just what the doctor ordered!

I will be back to a regualr post in about 3 days but until then, Bon Voyage! The ship is out to sea and there is a lounger with my name on it calling to me.

Blessings ya'll!

2006-07-07T15:55:00.000-07:00

It's official! We are seriously SPOILED!

My dishwasher is doing some weird leaking through the wall thing. No biggy, I call a work order in to All Star (who manages and takes care of quarters on our military post)and get a plumber out here immediately (water leaking is an emergency even to them LOL)....

The first plumber, last night, walks around with a flashlight , even though our lights were on, looking at it and saying "Gee! I don't know what it is but it sure is wet there."

Ya' don't say???

After about 20 minutes he says, "Nothing emergent there, we will just call in your dishwasher is broken and someone can come out tomorrow." I stayed up til 11:30 waiting for him to hear this??? Did I mention, that in the process he tried to pull the dishwasher out without loosening screws and so he pulled the door off and broke it? So now I have a leaking spot and a dishwasher that won't close....

Today the first man shows up, he's the REAL plumber, he says "Yup you have a leak!" Really??? I didn't guess those bath towels soaked through and the puddle around them on the floor were from a leak??? (can we HEAR my sarcastic thought process here?).

He actually loosens the screws before attempting to pull out the the ancient behemoth we call a dishwasher here, so for that he at least gets a few points. "YUP!" There it is, right there at the pump. Gonna be cheaper to put a new one in than to fix it."

Well HALLELUIA!! My dishwasher is kind of a family joke anyways. It really just sanitizes since we have to scrub them before we load them anyways, and even then we often get mysterious little hard particles all over our dishes that makes them need rewashed by hand! My children, however, are responsible for this so I do not suffer too much.

The REAL Plumber informs me the dishwasher lady, has to come by to get the dishwasher fixed, since he only handles plumbing. He says he will call her right away. Finally at 4 PM the dishwasher lady arrives. How exciting a new dishwasher.....

Okay don't get excited yet, she informs us, yes we need one but we need an APPOINTMENT to get it installed. An appointment??? She is standing RIGHT here? But, alas! We must wait. Til when? Next week she says. On Monday I get to have a phone consultation to find out WHEN the dishwasher lady is available, then we hope to have something by the middle of the week.

All three children say "WHAT??? The middle of NEXT week???? How will we do dishes???"

By hand of course...."BY HAND?!?!?!"

So I conclude with, it's official we are seriously spoiled.

2006-07-04T08:40:00.000-07:00

Glorious Freedom!

I was thinking this weekend about freedom. What it costs to purchase it. It is the blood of those who give of themselves freely that purchase our freedom. What a concept. Someone laid down their life so I can sit among scoffers or follow wholeheartedly after those who went before me, continuing to protect the freedom I have. I can honor the blood that purchased me or I can trample it into the dirt and make it another part of the mud.

The freedom we as Americans have is much like the freedom we gain in Christ. Jesus died so ALL could be free all we have to do is choose to honor it as opposed to trampling it. Not complicated is it? However, we make it seem so hard. Just as we as Americans can choose whether we honor those who died for us or not, we can choose the same for our eternity.

See, we can disgaree with how it was done, we can argue that it was not good enough that there is MORE we can even say our freedom is a bad thing. The beauty of this nation is you can do just that and live and enjoy the benefits of the freedom or you can allow yourself to walk around in bondage and opression because, the truth is youa re free irregardless, it is just a matter of whether you choose to walk in it!.

The same can be said of our Lord and his freedom. All have the opportunity to benefit from His work on the cross, all they have to do is choose it, or they can choose to live mired down in opression and bondage. it is a glorious thing to be free! I pray all are giving thanks here today for not just our national freedom but also the freedom of our spirit from death and hell.

Blessings

2006-06-30T15:42:00.000-07:00

Teenagers get a bad rap!
I say this with force, with exclamation points and with volume! I am the mother of 2 full fledged teens and one who is 12. I hear the groans when I say I have 3 teens, I hear the people say they want to lock them up and throw away the key, I hear the people who tell me they dread these years. I feel so sorry for them. I LOVE my teenagers. They are wonderful, so idealistic and foolish yes, but also clear eyed and unsullied by life. Filled with dreams and energy and a desire to do everything that comes to them. I see their hunger for love and acceptance while they try to forge their way in the world before them. I see their tenderness and childlike qualities when they see an injured animal while they still try to "toughen up" and act like grown ups over disappointments. They bring me joy and make me feel alive. They challenge me and test me and they make my life so much richer!

Now I admit when your daughter starts to hit "that time" in her life the Pod People do show up and kidnap her, replacing her with a pod like exterior of herself that some hormonal wild child lives in; However after about 7 days your child does return! Your son may start to get pretty strange and rushing a wall to try to walk up it sideways is not unheard of (so far we at least have been lucky enough to have not dealt with stitches or broken bones in the pursuit of this hobby), this too does pass.

Last night I sat up reading for awhile and when I laid down to go to sleep all I could think was, why did everyone tell me this would be the worst years? My husband and I love to be with our children and even the "prickly" one is a delight most of the time. Do I think everyone is so blessed, no I am a realist, but I do know, if we spent as much time just enjoying and getting to know our teenagers as we do complaining about them, they may not be so bad. What we say about them and to them has a major impact on who and what they are becoming. What do you want YOUR indelible mark on their life to be???? Take some time, do something silly and teen like with them (okay here it is a shaving cream battle....You just never know when one will break out) and don't try to be like them, enjoy the differences you are not their buddy you are their guidance, their parent! These years are flying by me and I know they will leave home but o the joy of having them now!

2006-06-27T15:07:00.000-07:00

Taking the Less Chosen Path.......

Have you ever known you were called to do something, known as you sure as you are standing there, that it is the thing God would have you do and find out many people/ friends around you, disagree, and in their disagreement, hurt you?

Recently, my husband and I agreed that an opportunity that was presented to me was definitely something only God could and would do..... So I have, with his support and encouragement, stepped out into a totally new area of my life. I have decided to return to school (online of course because, well, due to my hearing issues, classrooms are very difficult for me) I am entering GCU this fall to pursue a bachelors Degree in Applied Christian Ministries; Focus on Pastoral Ministries. My minor will be Family Dynamics. A far cry from Residential Design Degree I got a year ago.....

I have friends who find this offensive for more reasons than one. Some feel I wasted money and time going for the design degree if I am not going to pursue it to the Bachelor's level. Some feel I should not be spending more time in school, instead I should just use the education I already have others say women should not be pursuing such degrees they are for men only and others say what a waste, what can you do with such a degree in the real world?

So, to address my critics and my supporters I will tell you now why I have done such a thing. For years, over 10 now, I have had the incredible privilege and opportunity to speak to many many different Christian and non Christian audiences large and small about faith, perseverance and commitment. I have done so with a high school diploma a good vocabulary and a gift of gab that an Irish person may say is the result of kissing the Blarney Stone. I do not think it is wrong to continue with only those credentials but I feel it is time, now, to get an education that grounds me more in my faith and the validity it provides when I am speaking to others. It shows to them, that I am willing to put my time effort and labor into the faith I am proclaiming to them. I am not looking at starting my own church (trust me I have NO urge to do that). Ideally, with a degree like this I can begin training for Christian counseling, perhaps be a part of planning events for our Christian community or even step into a position in the military chaplain system that will benefit other Army families.

More so than anything else though, because God spoke it to my heart a long time ago and now, He has opened a door for it to happen. I had not forgotten the promise whispered to my heart so but I confess I had given up on it. I thought I had some how gotten it wrong, misunderstood or presumed upon the Lord. Now, I realize it was all a matter of God's perfect timing. I see that now.

So, I realize there are many who, with all good intention, will, nay say, try to convince me to rethink the direction I am going or tell me I am wasting my time and to them I say.....Please do not presume to know what the Lord is speaking to me and to my family. I would never think to tell someone who after much prayer and conference with both husband and pastor that they are all wrong. If I am, then I am sure the same Lord who whispered to my heart 13 years ago, will speak to me again. It is not the direction you think I should go but it sure is the path laid out before me.

2006-06-23T07:43:00.000-07:00

My poor me post of the week LOL

Three times I have tried to write out a post documenting how frustrated and worn down I am, 3 times the whole stinking thing was lost in cyber space.....so I stopped and prayed for a few minutes and LOL I do feel better. My pity party has ended and I am mvoing on LOL.

I AM tired right now, frustrated with my husbands medical issues (as is he, it is a joint endeavor LOL we are a team all the way) and emotionally my husband is really dealing with things my mind cannot even imagine. BUT, I also realize how incredibly fortunate we are. He is alive, he is going to one day be finished with all this surgery (30 of them since May 2004), he WILL someday chew again (I am running out of ideas for healthy mushy food for a man with only half his teeth and jaw). My heart however, breaks for the wounds we cannot see. The dreams that have him crying out DUCK and the lives of the men who died beside him that day in May 2004.

I am not going to get all depressing here but I have a request for all of you. When you hear a story on the news, when you see a person in military uniform, when you think about Iraq please pray for these men and women. I do believe they are heroes but not because they are doing something extrordinary but because for them this is their ordinary; to go and risk life and limb to bring freedom and the hope of a life as amazing as we are fortunate enough to live in the free world, to a lot of people who cannot even fully grasp the concept. The very idea of freedom is frightening to those who have always lived in a prison; these people who have never breathed a breath without a dictator over them until we entered the picture. Irregardless of your stand on the war, the truth is we are there, and we cannot leave half finished and allow tyranny to take over and never allow these people to choose for themselves, what type of government they have. My husband developed relationships with men and children there, as did so many other soldiers. My husband's interpreter, an Iraqi national, actually saved his life that night. I believe their children deserve to live, to choose to pursue their dreams, just as I believe mine do and so I ask for you all to PRAY PRAY PRAY. For our soldiers, ours and the Iraqi leaders and the Iraqi people.

Blessings

PS I will post any comments that disagree with me however if you chose to swear, insult or get plain ugly it will be deleted before I even finish reading it. As a military wife who lives on a military post I have a very different perspective of what is happening in Iraq (from the mouths of those who are there) than what those who only see the news and I will NOT allow the soldiers to be maligned on my blog find somewhere else to do it.

2006-06-21T07:55:00.000-07:00

ROTTEN BIRD!!!!!

Okay nothing deep and spiritual here! I am frustrated; me, being the loving and good human that I am, I put out food and treats for the birds every day so I can sit in the morning on the patio and watch them while I drink my coffee. My husband uses them as subjects as he is learning to use his new fancy digital camera.
Now, you would think this would make my house safe from bird hoodlums? Right? WRONG!
We have lovely White Wing doves with their beautifully blue lined eyes and sweet little finches hopping around, the one we love most is all brown except for his head has a bright red "hood" on it. THEN we have the Mocking Bird. Loud, bossy and evil if you ask my opinion.
In exchange for our largesse, our incredible meals of peanut suet and sunflower seeds garnished with a bit of dried fruit and small tasty seed we get attacked. This aggressive and horrid bird now thinks if we, or our dog comes out that we need divebombed and pecked with it's very very sharp beak.
Gretchen is afraid to go to her Lavatory end of the yard for fear of the kamikaze style diving this bird practices. I am sure at some point, my neighbors, as they drive along the road behind our quarters, think I have lost my lid. I can be seen numerous time s a day standing out back in the HOT Texas sun, swinging a white and blue broom in the air hoping to bat a homerun with the birdie-ball. Another form or defense we practice is sitting with a handful of small pebbles (from our decorative border)and flinging them at it when it lands on the fence. He always gets hit with at least one so I wonder just how long before this dumb bird figures out he is NOT welcome?
I feel like someone from Caddy-Shack chasing the stupid gopher! Tonight my husband will be borrowing a BB Gun and hopefully, it will be the end of our problem. We already tried not feeding them, it is now more aggressive and the game warden here on post said, it will not go away. According to them our problem is not that we feed them but that it found a water source in our yard and now it is going to consider the are it's territory. It seems the bird (we have watched this) likes to fly down to where the air conditioner drips it's condensation in the yard and stick it's head up the pipe for fresh water. DUMB BIRD!
So I say to you, don't befriend a Mocking Bird! Now, I must go and be the body guard for my poor pecked and frightened dog.......

Blessings to you all today!

Edited to add we aren't getting a BB Gun, LOL we can't find one to borrow and I refuse to actually buy one so anyone with suggestions please do tell!

2006-06-19T19:58:00.000-07:00

Presenting: Gretchen!!!!

Since I mentioned her in my last post, I thought I would show her off. This is my partner in crime. My ears in public!

2006-06-19T13:18:00.000-07:00

Journey into silence.........

I guess I should explain for those of you who stop by and don't know me in real life, I am not deaf in the sense I can hear nothing, and I can speak and most people never even know I have a disability. I am deaf in the sense that I have a progressive hearing loss that has resulted in me not hearing much of anything discernible under 87 decibels. I hear noise, but it means nothing to me, it is jsut noise. I wear 2 hearing aids and have a service dog named Gretchen.
Although I grew up with an impairment it was not severe but in my late 20's it was noticable something was very worng. That was in the early spring of 2001, since then I have rapidly progressed to where I am now and gone through 3 sets of hearing aids. My next step will be a cochlear implant. One lesson I have learned in facing this challenge is that one MUST be able to laugh at yourself and your weaknesses. If you cannot, you are most likely headed for a bout of depression and self pity that will do absolutly no good in prpearing you to face your new life.
When I was young, I sang, I mean I was never any diva or anything, but I loved it and I was reasonably good at it. A few months after I got my first set of hearing aids, I decided to join the praise and worship team at our church. This is where I discovered deaf chicks should NOT sing. After 1 practice with microphones I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that as much as I loved worship, it would be cruel punishment to our congregation to stand up there and sing LOL. I can laugh at this now, but at that moment is when I was hit right in the face with the fact that this was my future. The day is coming when I will not hear music change, I will not hear laughing and giggling and whispering and the little drips and ticks that drive you all crazy.....and it scared me. I did not like it one bit and for a period I would not do anything in silence. I always had a radio TV or something on. Silence scared me, truthfully, sometimes it still does.
So, after standing up there on the platform at church and crying over what I no longer could do, I decided to find a new thing for me. The following week, armed with a library book and the lyrics to all of our songs, I signed all of our music for our congregation. For three years, I stood every Sunday and signed my worship. I learned so much during that time and have discovered that I was able to bless many people in the process and did not even know it. Although I still cannot sign conversationally I can sign enough to get by and am continuing to learn. However, the biggest thing that has come from dealing with this, is learning that when God allows something in your life that is difficult and hard, something that hurts and leaves you feeling robbed and foresaken, He has something to give you that will more than make up for what you are losing. It's called His grace......His peace......His strength.......His mercy
I accept that unless God chooses to heal me miraculously, this is a fact for the rest of my life and all the wishing in the world won't change it. So, in my loss I have found confidence that God is going to not only carry me but give me more than sufficient grace to not just cope but to overcome. I don't know what you face, I don't know your challenge but I do know the Lord has not left you to stumble through a thicket trying to find your way in the maze of your troubles. Relax, laugh, live, dance, sing (okay I do still sing to my kids all the time as a joke....it's really bad and I know it but I laugh at it too) praise the Lord for the hard things and the easy ones. The truth is, in the face of eternity this life is so short anyways!

Blessings

2006-06-17T20:19:00.001-07:00

okay I switched to this host site so I can be linked to all of you. I am closing the easyjournal blog now.

2006-06-17T20:09:00.000-07:00

June 16, 2006
Hmmmm 17 years and still going strong!
Today is my anniversary. I'm 34 and it's my 17th anniversary (so do the math........WOW I was young). I still can't believe I have now been married as long as I was alive when I got married. I was reflecting a bit this morning when I sat on the patio drinking coffee with my husband on how richly blessed I am. I am not rich, as a matter of fact I live in government quarters on an Army base, I have many physical challenges and so does my husband, but as I sat there this morning watching the birds at the feeder, all I could feel was this incredible peace and contentment. I am learning that the things I once set up on pedastels as the objects and symbols of my success are just that...things. What is truly worth having is rarely a tangible physical thing. Wonderful healthy children, the love and acceptance of a Godly man who has covenentad to be by my side til death do us part. The knowledge that I have food and shelter and the freedom to live as I choose. I once thought, many, many, many moons ago LOL, that success was money and things and position, now I am finding it is peace with yourself and God, contentment in your heart and a knowledge you have done the best you could with what you have been given. And now, I msut go because those wonderful healthy children I mentioned are fighting like a pack of dogs and someone MUST play referee! Blessings to all...........

2006-06-17T20:08:00.000-07:00

June 15, 2006
Gremlins and bad attitudes!
Wouldn't it just figure, I decide it's time to blog and my computer gremlin decides to have some fun at my expense. Now, I realize that the conventional wisdom is that a computer never does anything you have not told it to do, through programming and commands etc but I really disagree. I am firmly convinced somewhere on the motherboard there is a small being who loves to run around jumping on chips and swinging from wires much like a small rotten toddler giggling and wreaking havoc all over the place in there. Truthfully, the computer was the least of our problems this week. Have you ever felt that quite literally all of Hell has broken loose against your family? This was our week. Teenagers being difficult, work being a pain in the neck, things breaking, plans going awry. So I ask myself just WHAT is a person to do? The answer? *sigh* NOTHING! Getting upset is really the only option I have. I cannot control a single thing in this life except my own response to events (DUH! you would think by now I would have learned this!) So after a few days of edgy stressful and frustrating stewing on all that is wrong I made a decision last night at church, I stood before the Lord and said "I just can't do anything can I?" and a million pounds lifted off my shoulders. No I cannot do a thing but He Jesus can do the impossible on my behalf. Some day, in some way my beady little human brain will accpet and act on the fact that God really is not up there eating Rolaids, worried about these things, and as His child, I should not be down here acting that way. So off I go to a new day, with a new attitude and the peace that passes all understanding. Blessings to you all today and I pray you too, when faced with the stupid mundane and stressful things that tie your stomach in knots, realize, God really has got a handle on it, just let Him do it.

2006-06-17T20:07:00.000-07:00

So why am I here?
Me? A BLOG? you are joking right? Well I have entered the world of cyberspace, anything goes publishing and I am rather surprised at myself but I figured this sure is an easy way to keep everyone up to date on our family and it's going ons! I confess there is the bit of egotism in me that thinks, on occasion, I may have something witty, intelligent or slightly insightful to share with others and this really is the best venue to be heard on LOL. So why the title? Because some day that will be the title of my first book! As someone who is severely hearing impaired and owns a service dog, with 3 teens and a husband who is going through major medical issues as he recovers from his wounds I need a sense of humor to survive this crazy life I lead and I have learned some good, practical, no fluff stuff on facing the challenges of life as a Christian, someone disabled, a woman, a wife and a mother. Blessings to all